Secrets
by jungleanimal
Summary: Jennifer Jareau has secrets. When a case becomes too personal, will she be forced to tell everyone what happened before she joined the BAU? my first fanfic. please give it a chance and r&r!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Secrets.

We all have secrets. Some are big, and can change our lives, while others are small and have almost no impact at all. Still, they are secrets. Secrets are best when kept a secret, because any other way and they are no longer a secret. But sometimes, we have no choice but to spill our deepest, darkest secrets. And the BAU is no exception.

Spencer Reid was first. Penelope Garcia discovered his secret when he had no choice but to call the place where his mother was staying, to save her life. That was when his coworkers found out that his mother had paranoid schizophrenia and was being kept in a hospital in Las Vegas for it. It was also when they found out he was afraid that he might have it, too.

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner was second. His team found out his secret when he was interviewing an intelligent serial killer, who trapped him into giving it up. That was when all of the people who work for him found out that he was abused as a kid.

Then was Jason Gideon. His secret was revealed when he left the team, telling them it was too much and he couldn't handle it any more. He no longer had the willpower to keep going, and he had to leave. He left his secret in a note for Spencer Reid. Gideon was one of the few lucky people who doesn't have to be around to watch your secret become known to all the people you care about.

Penelope Garcia was next. Her secret was huge, and caused her to get shot right outside her own apartment. She was helping families who lost loved ones, she was cheating to get them justice. But she had to tell her secret to save her life.

Then was Derek Morgan. His was a secret he kept for almost his whole life, since he was a thirteen year old boy. Someone he grew up with, someone he trusted, was sexually abusing him for years. But when Derek Morgan was accused of murder, he had to spill his secret to keep his freedom.

Last was David Rossi. He never told anyone why he decided to come back to the BAU after twenty years of retirement. But he had to when his coworkers noticed him acting strangely. He returned to work because a case was haunting him, one he never really closed. That was when Dave Rossi's secret became known.

Jennifer Jareau laughs as she remembers when the biggest secret she had was who her best friend was crushing on. Then her secrets got bigger and bigger. She went years without telling anybody. Jennifer Jareau laughs because she still has a secret, a secret that nobody else can know. A secret that changed her life forever. And it is still a secret.

Jennifer Jareau did not exist ten years ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I promise this will get more interesting—just had to give the back story. Please review. Should I keep going??**

**Disclaimer: I do not own CM or HG, if I did you would be watching this on tv instead of reading it ;)**

Chapter 2

JJ POV

JJ sighed and rubbed her temples as she stared at the numerous case files in front of her. It was always so difficult to pick a case, to choose who lives and who dies. And the nightmares keeping her up at night definitely did not help.

They weren't exactly nightmares—more like memories. Whenever she closed her eyes, she would see the face of her sick, twisted stepfather. She would hear him telling her how beautiful she was.

Every night, she had to relive what she went through as a child.

JJ was confused by the dreams. They disappeared for almost two years, but right as she was finally accepting that they were gone for good, they came back. Of course, she knew why.

"Happy birthday, Shelby," She muttered. There was a knock at the door. "Come in," she called.

Hotch's head poked through the door. "I've got a case." For that, JJ could have kissed him. That means about a week of no deciding people's fate. But before she could respond, he asked if she felt okay.

JJ hadn't even realized her stance—gripping the files in her hands so hard, and she could imagine how tired she looked. Also, the memories eating at her mind seemed to show on her face. She quickly recomposed herself.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just haven't been getting much sleep."

"Oh?"

"Um, Henry seems to be a little colic," she lied. The truth was, Henry was the perfect little kid in the world and he hardly ever cried.

"Yeah, I know what that's like," Hotch replied. "If you're not up for it..."

"No, I'm fine," JJ answered quickly. Hotch, on the other hand, was hesitant when he responded. "Okay, well in that case, briefing room in five." He was about to leave when he turned back around again. "By the way, who is Shelby?"

JJ drew in a sharp breath. "Sorry?"

"Um, I heard you wish Shelby a happy birthday. Who is Shelby? I don't remember you mentioning her before..."

"Oh, uh, j-just a friend."

"Right" was his reply. Much to JJ's appreciation, he turned around and shut the door behind him as he left. JJ took slow, even breaths as she tried to keep her composure, but figured it was no use. She walked slowly to the briefing room, stopping for coffee on the way. She was the last one there.

"Sorry—I didn't realize how late I was."

"No problem." Hotch responded. He signaled for pictures to appear on the screen. To the horror of the team, several pictures of eight different victims showed up. "Eight victims. All blonde, all blue eyes. All prostitutes." JJ cursed the similarity of the situation.

"So, a hate crime?" Derek Morgan suggested.

"No, that wouldn't explain the type," Emily Prentiss pointed out. Being the newest member on the team, she was always looking for a chance to prove herself.

"He's killing a certain type of people instead of killing the person he really wants to." David Rossi informed them.

"Why wouldn't he just kill the girl and get it over with?" Prentiss was so obviously the newbie.

"Several reasons. Maybe he can't bring himself to do it. Maybe he is just trying to scare her. Or maybe it's as simple as he can't find her."

"How do we know this unsub is a 'he' anyways?" JJ asked quietly. She was looking down at the table, avoiding the curious eyes of the team.

"Are you feeling okay?" Prentiss asked. Newbie. Why couldn't she just mind her own business?

"I'm fine. Now how do we know--"

"JJ, look at the photos. He takes their shirts off," Hotch pointed out worriedly. JJ was usually so calm, and she was normally the person who briefed the team. Now she couldn't even see the pictures.

JJ looked up. Hotch was right—each of the victims had their shirts taken off. "Why would this guy lay their shirts on top of their bodies if he purposely removes them?"

"Good question. Could be remorse. We will talk more on the plane. Wheels up in thirty." The team dispersed, all except Emily who sat still, staring at JJ who was also not moving.

"You sure you're okay? If you feel sick, I'm sure Agent Hotchner will--"

"I'm fine, Prentiss," JJ said a little too quickly for Emily's liking.

"Okay. See you in a few," Prentiss left the room. JJ sighed. This was going to be one tough case.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N1:So I know for a fact that people are reading this, but I wouldn't if I didn't get the emails telling me that it has been added to alerts and such. PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

**A/N2: Forgot to say when this one takes place. It is sometime in season three, between "About Face" and "Lucky"**

Emily Prentiss POV

Emily boarded the plane last. As she was taking her seat, she almost sat on an old newspaper. "Hey Hotch, did someone borrow our jet?"

"Yeah, the White Collar team used it last week after theirs broke down in the hangar. Why?"

"Oh, I just found this newspaper." Prentiss laughed, glancing at the front page. "It's from two weeks ago."

Hotch smiled. "Yeah, they are known for their lack of current events knowledge." _Did he just tell a joke?_ Emily thought.

He continued, "Everyone, come over here. I need to explain the case better. Sorry about the rush earlier." He apologized as the team crowded as close as possible to hear the gruesome details about this week's serial killer. Emily picked up the newspaper and read while listening vaguely to Hotch's description. "He has been killing for almost two weeks."

Morgan let out a low whistle. "Eight victims in less than two weeks?"

"Yeah. He has been killing blonde, blue-eyed prostitutes. It seems that strangulation was the COD on all of them, but he slit their throats afterwords."

"Overkill?" Emily suggested, looking up from the paper. "Maybe he knows them personally."

"Maybe. Or maybe he just wants to make sure they are dead," Rossi countered.

"Why would he want to do that? Maybe if he removes their shirt, abuses them, then kills them to keep from being recognized." Reid said.

"No," Hotch said, "he kills them then removes their shirts. They are covered in blood from the neck wounds. What I want to figure out is why he would take off their shirt then put it back on."

"Um, Hotch you never told us where we are going," JJ stated. Nobody missed the obvious change of subject.

"Colorado." Emily felt JJ stiffen beside her. "That's another thing with the murders—they seem to be moving north."

"What do you mean?" Morgan asked.

JJ glanced at the file in her hands. "One murder took place right outside of a nice restaurant. Then next took place five miles north of that, and the next two miles north of that. I think you see the pattern." JJ stood up slowly.

"Weird," Morgan commented.

"Not really," Reid disagreed. "He could just be traveling in that general direction and killing as he goes. Did you know that the percentage of murders that kill based on convenience reaches--" Emily zoned out and didn't hear the rest of Reid's statistic. She glanced down at the paper again, her eye catching the title _Child Molester Breaks Free After Eight Years of Imprisonment_. Interested, she read the article quickly. Emily had always hated when people got out of jail for no reason, especially if they did something to a kid. Then again, who wouldn't?

"That's horrible," Emily suddenly gasped.

Morgan laughed. "Girl, where were you? Unless you really have something against gin rummy..."

"Oh no, not that. Something in the paper. These people are letting this guy go—well, I guess did let this guy go already, considering the paper is two weeks old. Anyways, they let a pedophile who raped and sexually abused his two step-daughters for over ten years walk free because they need the jail cell."

"That's disgusting," Morgan spat. They all knew of his abusive past, and didn't comment on it.

"What's even worse is that he didn't get put away for the molestation—he got away with that, due to lack of evidence. He was put away for attempted rape and murder of his wife."

"Who is he?" JJ asked quietly. She was standing next to her seat; Emily didn't even notice that she hadn't moved.

"Uh, let me find a name." Emily quickly skimmed the article. "Here it is—Walter Blaine." JJ nodded and took long, slow strides to the bathroom in the back of the plane. Emily threw the newspaper down, horrified at what she was reading, when she heard the sound of somebody vomiting coming from the back of the plane. "Oh, gosh," She muttered.

"What? Another article?"

"No—listen." Everyone was quiet as they heard what Prentiss had.

"Was she...?" Reid didn't even have to finish the question. Under different circumstances, Emily would have teased him for being at a loss for words.

"Yeah." Rossi answered.

JJ exited the bathroom, self-conscious when she noticed them staring at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and sat down. "Yes?"

"Jennifer, if you asked to stay home, I would have let you." Hotch said gently.

"It's nothing, really. I'm just never letting Will cook again," She joked unconvincingly. "So, what were the ages of the victims?" She changed the subject, taking long gulps from her water bottle.

"They ranged from 15 to 30."

"Big range," Rossi commented.

Morgan scowled. "A fifteen-year-old prostitute? That's disgusting. What are these girls—these _sluts—_doing with their lives? Selling themselves for money is only showing themselves and their families disrespect."

"They don't deserve to die," JJ said angrily. It took everything in Prentiss not to gasp; she couldn't remember ever seeing JJ this mad before.

"Of course not," Morgan responded, shocked at JJ's outburst. She was usually opinionated, but she never voiced it like this before. "But if they need money, get a damn _job_, don't just walk around in underwear flaunting your stuff."

"You don't know what these girls went through! For all you know, they could have been, I don't know, running away from an abusive home! Or...or they had nowhere to go!"

"Okay, I hear you," Morgan said.

JJ came back to her usual self, almost as suddenly as this all began. Looking at the others, Prentiss and Rossi (the two newest BAU members) noticed that this was not usual. JJ pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, obviously still recovering from the nausea. Emily rubbed her back. She stiffened under her hand for half a second before relaxing again.

"JJ, are you sure you're okay? If you're sick, you really shouldn't be flying, or working the case," Reid informed them.

"I'm okay, really. I just--"

Just then, Garcia's image popped up on the laptop in front of them. "Hiya guys! How's the flight going?" Silence. "That good, huh? Anyways, I got some more info on your poor little girlies. They weren't sexually assaulted in any way, shape or form, but they do have a little bit of bruising on their abdomen. Possibly from the forceful way your sicko removed the shirts, possibly from physical abuse and punches."  
"Thanks Garcia." Hotch answered, almost mechanically, even for Hotch.

"Why the long faces? I mean, besides the fact that you have eight dead girl's faces sitting on the table in front of you."

"Thanks for the reminder. But we may be down an agent." Rossi said. Emily saw the annoyance on JJ's face as she shook off her hand.

"What? W-what are you talking about?" She saw Garcia do a quick head count.

"JJ's sick."

"I'm _fine_."

"Aww, Jayje. Is my awesome aura too great for you to be around while the team is away? Or is there some other reason you don't want to be in my presence all week?"

"I'm not sick. Really."

"Right. Well, I'm going to let you do your thing now. Feel better JJ! _Ciao_!" Garcia's image disappeared from the screen.

"JJ, really--"

"I promise, I am fine. Please, can we focus on the case now? We have eight murdered and counting."

"She's right." Emily could see the appreciation on JJ's face as she agreed with her. "This guy is moving fast, and we have almost nothing." _This is going to be a tough case,_ Emily thought. Then, stealing a look at JJ, _For more than one reason._

**I know, that was kind of lame for it being Emily's POV, but I am still just getting into the case and...we can call them issues. I PROMISE it will get better just keep reading and reviewing!! :)**

**BTW, sorry if that part about prostitutes offended anybody, I really am. I was just showing Morgan's opinion.**


	4. Chapter 4

Derek Morgan POV

There was something going on with JJ; he couldn't deny it. But he knew that sometimes people just needed their space, and that's exactly what he was going to give her—her space. For now.

As soon as they exited the plane, the poor, over-worked chief of police approached them. "Hello, I'm Robert Smith, the lead investigator of these murders. You must be the BAU."

"Yes, I'm Aaron Hotchner. This is Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, Dr. Spencer Reid, and David Rossi." Hotch rushed, pointing to each person as he called their name.

"Yes, well, we could really use your help." From the corner of his eye, Morgan saw JJ fidgeting, unable to sit still. She was debating whether or not to say something. Unfortunately, common sense lost the argument.

"Excuse me, sir, with all due respect, but why did it take eight murdered women to call us?"

Agent Smith's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Because, _Miss_ Jareau, the bodies were found in three different counties. It took eight murders to find out they were connected."

"I see," JJ said kindly.

"I'd like to show you the room now." He said stiffly. Morgan glared at JJ. That was _not_ the smartest thing to say. Of course, it was too late now.

The BAU followed Chief Smith into the police station, where people were hectically running around.

"We can get you set up here. Whatever you need, me and my people are available. Just please, catch this bastard."

"Of course we will, sir."

"Thank you." Chief Smith walked away.

"So what do we know so far?" Rossi asked.

"Not much" was the reply. "He doesn't sexually assault his victims, which is strange. They were prostitutes; you'd think that he would want to hurt them sexually to show fear and make them feel remorse. But there was nothing."

"Weird." Morgan's phone rang. He looked at the caller ID—My Princess. He answered. "Baby girl, you've gotta stop changing your name in my contacts. It's starting to confuse me." Emily snickered.

"And you're the FBI agent? Pshh. Just put me on speaker." Morgan complied, flipping open his phone. "Okay darlin', you're on--"

"You turned me on," Garcia shot back just as Chief Smith returned. He stood still, mouth hanging open.

Morgan sighed. "If you let me finish, I would have said you're on _speaker_. And now I think you are going to have to pay for Chief Smith's jaw replacement—it dropped all the way to the ground when he heard that." Morgan laughed as the police chief shook his head.

"It's not my fault what you can do to me."

Prentiss walked over to Chief Smith. "Sir, is there anything I can help you with?"

"Oh, um, yeah I-I just...just wondering what I should tell the officers. You know, about the, um, uh--"

"I promise you will be the first to know when we are ready to give a profile." Emily assured him. He nodded and walked away quickly, leaving the BAU chuckling.

"Garcia, why did you call?"

"Aw, Hotch, is so you can hear my voice not a good enough reason?"

"Penelope..."

"Okay, okay. I found out something weird about your victims. They all have similar bruising on their abdomen."

"I though we already established that," Rossi pointed out.

"We did smarty pants, but I got more. There is a line of bruising and tiny cuts moving from their left shoulder, all the way down to their right hip. On all of them."

"You're right; that is weird."

"Uh-huh. Now, I really have to go."

"Where?"

"You know...go."

Prentiss laughed. "Thanks Garcia. Go, relieve yourself."

"Don't need to tell me twice," Garcia said, hanging up.

"Strange." Morgan commented.

"Yep." Hotch agreed. "Right now, we need to put together a profile. This guy is either escalating or devolving; either way he's doing it quickly, and I wouldn't be surprised if the next murder is tonight."

JJ looked at the clock. "Okay, well it is 2:30 now, so we have...what, like five hours?"

"Something like that. So we have to do this fast."

"No pressure or anything," JJ said sarcastically, completely out of character. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, as if trying to regain control of herself. If Morgan had been paying better attention, he would have recognized more of the signs, but instead he made a mental note to check on JJ later. The whole team knew something was going on, but was too afraid to ask her what it was.

"Reid, put together a geographical profile."

"Okay but--" Reid began.

"Everyone else, just think of anything you can. We need all we can get on this guy."

"Wait, first I--" Reid tried again, unsuccessful.

"And quickly too. We know that another murder is most likely inevitable, but we are still going to try to stop him. Got it?"

"Hotch? I'm going to need a map."

"Right."

CMCMCMCMCM

Rossi, Hotch, Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ were all sitting in a separate room. So far, they had narrowed down the age and race of the unsub, along with some other minor details. But nothing big yet; no breakthrough. Until Reid came bursting into the room, dropping a few pens and papers on the way.

"I think I found something."

"Shoot." Morgan ordered.

Reid looked confused. "What do you mean? I just wanted to tell you what I found--"

"Kid, it's an expression. Just tell us what you got."

"Oh. Well he's moving north."

There was a short-lived silence as the rest of the team shared a confused glance. "What do you mean?" JJ spoke up quietly.

"The first murder took place outside of a restaurant. The next, two blocks north of that. And the next, three blocks north of that one. See the pattern?" The team nodded. "If he keeps going, then he will end up on a basically deserted mountain."

"Basically?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah—several miles of forest, and a school."

"A school in the middle of the woods?"

"Yes, it is literally in the middle of the forest. Like, surrounded by at least 20 miles of trees."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Anyways, if he keeps up the pattern, he will end up at this school."

"Why would he be moving north?" Prentiss wondered.

"I asked myself the same thing, and only came up with one answer: he's looking for somebody specific."

"And that tells us...?"

Reid took a deep breath. "That tells us that he won't stop killing until he finds her."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I know, I know, it's still going slowly, but I have the next few chapters planned out and they are really going to get interesting. **

**Reviews make the world go round! Keep them coming! ;)**

David Rossi POV

"JJ, you're going to need to give the press our preliminary profile as soon as possible. If Reid is right, then everybody has a right to know what this man is looking for."

JJ just nodded.

"Are you okay?" Rossi asked, concern evident in his voice.

JJ cleared her throat, found her voice. "I'm fine." But Hotch looked skeptical. As a matter of fact, so did the whole team.

Finally, Prentiss asked the question that was bugging JJ so much. "Hey Reid, what's the name of this school he's going to?"

"We don't necessarily know he's going there. Remember, it's surrounded by woods—he probably doesn't even know it exists."

"Right. Name?"

"Oh, right. Umm....it's called Horizon."

Hotch nodded. "If he keeps going in that direction, then the owners of the school have a right to know what's going on. JJ, go to the press conference. Morgan, find out all you can about this school. Prentiss, Rossi, Reid, you come with me to tell the PD what we know so far."

A round of "got it"s and "okay"s followed as the team dispersed, going where they were told.

Rossi, Reid, Hotch, and Prentiss went into a bigger, also overcrowded room. _Why is nothing here big enough?_ Rossi wondered. _Oh, they are probably not used to such horrid cases here_. This town was relatively small, and most likely never had a serial killer before. Rossi couldn't think of a reason to have big rooms in a police station if you are never going to use them.

"We believe this man is Caucasian," Hotch began, "and although this is most likely so, we cannot rule out any other race. Because of the unusually large age range, it is hard to get a specific age of the unsub--"

"Unsub?" One professional-looking lady, who was frantically scribbling down notes, asked.

"It stands for unknown subject. He is probably in his fifties, give or take a few years."

One particularly obnoxious man asked, "So we _might_ be looking for a middle-aged white guy?"

"Well, sir--" Prentiss began

"_Detective._"

"_Sir_, we are not finished yet." Rossi smirked as Emily ignored his request to be called "Detective". She was showing off her authority, something everybody had to be lucky enough to do at some point.

"We believe that he is looking for somebody that closely resembles his victims. That is, blonde and blue-eyed prostitutes." Emily finished.

"We also have reason to think that he has either been a victim of sexual abuse, which would explain why there is no evidence of abuse on the bodies, or he has sexually abused someone, and this person he abused is the one that he is looking for." Reid stated almost too quickly for anyone to understand. The woman taking notes looked up, so overwhelmed that Rossi almost laughed out loud. He held it back, though.

"He is also moving north, up a mountain towards a school called Mount Horizon." Rossi heard a few snorts and chuckles coming from the police. He balled his fists but kept going like nothing had happened. "He has begun to kill nightly, so we are going to be doing surveillance around town, and would appreciate it if you would as well."

"Thank you for your time," Hotch concluded just as JJ returned from the press conference. "Did you get that last part?"

"Uh, sorry, I was thinking."

"It's okay—I know how overwhelming those press conferences can be. I was saying that we are going to do a surveillance tonight. You up for it?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"Great. I want everyone to meet back here in one hour." Hotch said. "In the meantime, try and find out everything you can about our unsub. And please, get your rest. We don't know when we will be sleeping again."

There was an incoherent mumble from the team as they followed their boss to the hotel, each into their separate rooms.

Rossi dropped his bags down by his bed, not even bothering to unpack them. He sat down and wondered, _Who could be so important to this man that he kills just to find her?_

Before he could answer himself, there was a knock on his door. Looking through the peephole, he saw Hotch standing there.

"Everything okay?" He asked, letting his boss in.

"With me, sure. But I think something may be going on with JJ."

"I agree—something is definitely not right. But there's nothing we can do until she wants to tell us. Until then we just have to wait it out, and be there to support her, not push her." He had no idea that he was the second person to say this about JJ.

"You're right. I just wish there was something we could do; some way to help."

"I know. But I think you were right before when you said we all need our sleep." Rossi less-than-subtly kicked Hotch out of his room, but he really needed to rest. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep later on.

He couldn't sleep now, either. What Hotch had said left him in his own thoughts. What _was _wrong with JJ? What was so important that she couldn't tell anyone? It then dawned on him that JJ was the only one still with a secret. It hurt him to know that it wouldn't be true for much longer. Working with a profiler, _being_ a profiler, definitely had it's down points.

An hour passed more quickly than he would have though possible. Rossi rushed to shower and get dressed, but was still the last to arrive at the police station.

"Sorry I'm late."

"No problem—we were just discussing. You didn't miss anything." Just then, Hotch's phone buzzed. "Hotchner," he answered. "Yes. Yes, I did hear about that. In the paper." Pause. "I'm sorry, but we are currently working a case. If you could fax your files to the BAU office in Quantico, Virginia, I could have my team look them over when we return. Thank you." He hung up.

"What was that about?" Morgan asked.

"Remember that case that Prentiss mentioned on the ride here? The man who molested his two step-daughters? Well, he's missing. They asked if we could help find him. It sounds pretty bad, so I told them we would look into it."

Morgan groaned. "That Blaine bastard? Walter, right?"

"JJ? JJ...are you okay?" Hearing Emily's voice, Rossi turned to see her staring at JJ, who had turned an impossible white. She put a comforting hand on JJ, which she unintentionally and dramatically flinched away from.

"Sorry," she muttered after a moment. "You said that Walt Blaine is...is missing?"

"Yes, why?"

Rossi practically saw the wheels spinning in JJ's head. "Well, I got a call that he escaped from prison, but it seemed like nothing the local PD couldn't handle, so I let it go."

"JJ, you can't blame yourself for that." Rossi stated.

"Yeah, I know." She sighed. "Let's just do this surveillance, okay?"


	6. Chapter 6

Emily Prentiss POV

Hotch sighed. "Okay, just let me make one quick phone call to get all of the local PD out here." The team nodded as he walked away, already dialing the number on his phone. Emily noticed JJ fidgeting where she stood. "You okay?" she asked, worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine," JJ responded, "but could have Hotch hold on the meeting? I just need to use the restroom."

Prentiss laughed. "Sure. Go ahead."

JJ smiled. "Thanks. Oh, I'm going to drop my phone in your purse, if that's okay. I left mine back in the hotel and my pockets are too small."

"No problem."

"Thanks!" JJ said, already headed towards the bathroom. Morgan and Prentiss laughed.

"Um, guys...has anybody noticed...uh..." Reid stuttered.

"Yes, JJ is acting weird. But kid, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, mind your own business." Morgan advised seriously. "You may regret it if you don't."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you see her lose it on the plane with me? Well, I have a feeling she could do worse."

"Oh."

"Please, stop talking about her behind her back. Plus, don't we have a thing about inter-team profiling?" Emily reminded them.

"Yeah, Prentiss is right," Rossi said. "We really shouldn't talk about her like that."

Something from Emily's purse buzzed. "Shit," she muttered, going through everything she had in there. Morgan laughed as she struggled to find the phone. Finally, she pulled it out. NEW MESSAGE it read. She pressed display, and not even noticing that it wasn't her phone she pulled out.

From: Scott Barringer. Message: I know you won't respond, I don't even know if you're Shelby, but if you are, you deserve to know that he's back. He's out of jail and will come after you. Trust me, I know first-hand. He won't let it go—ever. Look out for yourself.

"Oh my gosh," she gasped unintentionally.

"What the matter?" Rossi asked.

"Uh, nothing. This is JJ's phone, not mine." She forced a laugh.

Hotch returned just then. "The chief is sending over all of the men he can get together. Where's JJ?"

"Little girl's room," Morgan answered.

"Not anymore," Prentiss heard from behind her.

"Oh, JJ, you got a message. Here you go," she informed her, handing over her phone.

"Thanks," she said. Then, after reading the text, she grimaced.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah—wrong number."

_Then why do you have him in your contacts?_ Emily wondered, but didn't ask.

CMCMCMCMCM

Finally, the room was full of detectives and police officers who were willing to do the surveillance around town. Hotch began speaking immediately. "As you know, we have a serial killer murdering blonde, blue-eyed prostitutes. For this surveillance, I am going to assign a pair of police officers to a certain corner, from a block north of the last crime scene until we run out of officers. Understood?"

A chorus of "yeah"s rang throughout the room. Hotch began rattling off names and streets until, finally, each person in the room was assigned a position. He dismissed them, and they left quickly. It was already 6:00.

"Okay. Me and Rossi are going to be at the corner of Washington Road and Sixteenth Street." Before he could continue, JJ gasped.

"You okay?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, sorry." There was no way JJ was going to tell them that was where her best friend, Patty, OD'd right before her eyes when she was sixteen...

"Morgan and Reid will be two blocks south of us, and JJ and Prentiss two blocks north. Clear?"

"Crystal."

"Great. Let's go."

In the car, there was a long and awkward silence. Emily knew that something was wrong with JJ, but the last thing she wanted to do was push. Fortunately, JJ broke the silence.

"I never noticed that before—what happened to your arm?"

Confused, Emily looked down, then laughed when she realized that JJ was talking about an old scar. JJ looked surprised at her response, so she explained. "I was twelve, and me and my friends were on a swing set, seeing who could jump farther off the moving swing. I think you see where this is going." JJ looked at her sympathetically. "It seems a lot worse than it was," She reassured her. "It just scarred over. You know what that's like, don't you?"

"Nope."

"You don't have any scars that seem worse now than when you got them?"

"Uh-uh. Just...just one scar."

Either it was a lie, or a very sensitive topic. Emily took the chance. "Oh?"

"The...dogs." Prentiss winced as she remembered when she got that scar. During the Hankel case, when Reid was kidnapped and JJ was attacked by dogs trained to kill. "I'm sorry," Prentiss practically whispered.

Now JJ winced, upset that she had to lie to her friend. The truth was, she had two scars. The first one she got when she was thirteen.

_Flashback:_

"_Not tonight," Shelby moaned. "Please, Walt, not tonight. It's my birthday."_

"_Well, we can wait another three minutes. It is 11:57, so it won't be your birthday for much longer."_

"_Please, don't! Just...just not tonight." Shelby begged._

"_Keep your voice down!" Walt whispered harshly. Shelby winced._

"_Leave me alone!" Her voice was getting louder._

"_Do you forget what I told you? Nobody can hear us, or else--"_

"_Okay! Okay, please, just don't touch Jess!" She was crying now._

"_Shut up! Just shut up!" He was getting angrier, which made Shelby cry harder. Then Walt smiled. "You know, this marks our two year anniversary..."_

_Shelby wailed. Walt, terrified of being heard, picked up the lamp beside him and hit Shelby with it, not thinking at all. He put a pillow over her face to muffle her scream as the deep cut on her abdomen began bleeding fast. "Great, now look what you did! We have to get you to the hospital!" Shelby didn't hear him leave her room, but she heard her mother enter. _

"_She fell out of her bed, onto her lamp. Must have been a hell of a nightmare." Walt winked at her. Shelby passed out._

_She woke up in the hospital, stitches going from the left side of her abdomen all the way down to her right hip._

_Being in the hospital didn't excuse her from another night of torture._

Luckily for JJ, Emily was driving and didn't notice her shudder.

"Okay, here we are." Prentiss pulled the car over to the side of the street.

"What exactly are we looking for again?" JJ asked, stifling a yawn.

"Just any man who comes out of his car, towards the prostitute. Wow, I didn't realize how many that would be..."

"Not much. Mostly, the girls get into the guys' car."

"Oh right, good point." Emily looked over at JJ, looking tiredly out her window. Prentiss sighed, then noticed a single tear traveling down JJ's face.

"Sweetie? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She answered hoarsely.

"Are you sure? If you want to talk--"

"_There_." Emily was surprised by JJ's insisting tone, and looked where she was pointing. Sure enough, a balding man was walking towards a blonde prostitute. Even in the dim moonlight, Emily knew she had blue eyes as well.

"Come on!" JJ opened the door. Emily followed suit. Just as they were running across the street, the man grabbed the poor woman by the neck, pushing her into the wall. The FBI agents heard him mumbling something incoherent.

"FBI! Freeze!" Prentiss yelled, pulling out her gun as she sprinted until she was only a few feet away from the attack. Some of the men, women, and kids on the sidewalk screamed as they ran away, while others came behind to watch what was going on. Soon enough, there was a large crowd behind Emily and JJ, watching to see what would happen.

The panic in the woman's eyes hurt to look at. Emily could swear she saw her eyes cloud over before she passed out. "Let her go! Let her go!" Prentiss repeated.

Before she knew what was happening, JJ ran over and kicked him. Both JJ and Emily were surprised as JJ ran back to where she was before, beside Emily. The man slowly turned around, looking down at the floor. "I just wanted her to pay. It's her fault. She should pay."

JJ dropped her gun. She recognized that voice. Distracted, Prentiss looked over at JJ, who was an impossible pale. "JJ? JJ, are you okay? JJ!"

The man looked up; his eyes lit up. "Shelby," he said hopefully. "Shelby, finally. Come on Shelby—it will be like before. It can be like you never left." He took a step forward.

Emily was so confused—she had absolutely no idea what was going on, but she knew she was going to have to remember the name Shelby. "Freeze!" She screamed again, but it was no use. Before she could process what was happening, the unsub kicked her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She leaned over, gasping for breath, completely useless as he made his way towards a defenseless JJ.

"It's your fault! It's your fault! If you hadn't called the police...if you hadn't testified! Of course, I never left you pregnant, so you had no proof. But you called them a second time! _Eight years_ I spent, locked away in that small space. Shelb, you know how much I hate small spaces. Why did you do that to me? All I ever did was love you."

JJ muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "and Jess" before running. Emily, still unable to breathe properly, stood up and hobbled over as fast as she could. Unfortunately, that was not fast enough.

Emily stumbled around, trying to find where JJ and the unsub were. They had turned a corner, and she couldn't find them. People were walking slowly, enjoying their precious time.

"FBI! Out of my way!" Prentiss screamed, waving her gun. People shrieked and cleared a path for her. She ran around, listening for anything to tell her where her friend was. Then she heard it.

It started out a frightened scream, then became more. It became desperate sobs, escalating until finally Emily felt tears running down her cheeks, unable to hear the pain her friend was in. She ran as fast as she could towards the noise.

She arrived just in time. The unsub was about to remove her shirt. Prentiss winced as she saw the deep gash in JJ's ankle, and immediately felt guilty. Why hadn't she been there to stop it? But she would have to worry about that later.

"FBI! Freeze! DON'T MOVE!" Emily yelled, but it was no use. The man looked up, and ran away as fast as he could. Prentiss debated going after him, but JJ was nearly unconscious and losing blood fast. The murderer would have to wait.

"JJ! JJ, can you hear me? Answer me," Prentiss begged, the tears welling in her eyes yet again.

"Go after him," She ordered hoarsely. Emily let out a relieved sigh; she was okay. "It's okay, Jayje; you're going to be fine, I promise."

"Get him! Go, go right now! Go find him!" JJ began crying again. Prentiss was completely overwhelmed, had no idea what to do. And having an audience didn't help.

"Please, everybody out of the way right now! Back up! Somebody, give me a cell phone." Nobody moved. Emily flashed her badge. "FBI! Somebody, lend me a damn phone!" The man closest to Emily reached into his pocket and grabbed a phone, handing it to her. She dialed 911.

"_911, what's your emergency?"_

"This is SSA Emily Prentiss; we have an agent down at the corner of Westward Court and Nineteenth Street." Emily snapped the phone shut, tossing it back to the man. "Come on, JJ, you're going to be just fine."

JJ's breathing had become shallow. Each breath was a challenge. Her leg wound was bleeding uncontrollably. Prentiss took off her coat and pressed it on the cut for pressure.

"You lost him," JJ sobbed angrily. And that was the last thing she said before she passed out.


	7. Chapter 7

Jennifer Jareau

"_I told you everything I know!"_ Emily sounded like she was talking through a wall of cotton; JJ could barely make out what she was saying.

"_Tell me again." _Hotch demanded.

"_He kicked me in the stomach, then took off after JJ. I arrived just as he was...he was going to rape her. And he called her Shelby."_ Emily's voice was becoming clearer. Unfortunately. As she heard the story, as she heard the name, JJ couldn't repress the shudder that took over her body.

"JJ." It was Rossi talking this time. "JJ, squeeze my hand if you can hear me." It was then JJ noticed the hand in hers. She gave it a weak squeeze. "Good. Can you open your eyes for me?"

Opening her eyes was as hard as lifting 100lb weights, but she did it nonetheless. She saw the whole team crowding around her, making her feel slightly claustrophobic. If they hadn't been there surrounding her, JJ might have been worried due to the unusual amount of white in the background. "Good. Now, do you think you could tell me what happened?"

"I...I can't remember." She was surprised by how hoarse she sounded. JJ cleared her throat, but it didn't help the dryness she felt.

"Here, have some water," Reid handed her a cup. JJ took long gulps.

"What happened? I mean, why am I here?" JJ finally realized she was in the hospital.

"Maybe you should let me answer that," a voice in the door sounded.

"Your doctor," Hotch mumbled, seeing JJ's confused face. "I could use some coffee. Anyone else?" The team nodded and left. Garcia kissed JJ's forehead before exiting the room. She whispered something to the doctor, and left.

The doctor entered JJ's room. Her forehead was obscured by thick, brunette bangs, and the bottom half of her face was covered by a surgical mask. Without even looking at JJ, the doctor introduced herself. "I'm Dr. Waybourne."

JJ froze. She recognized that name...those eyes. "Excuse me, Dr. Waybourne, but is there a reason for the mask? It's a little concerning."

Still staring at the chart in front of her, Dr. Waybourne responded, "Oh, of course not. I'm sorry, my last patient has the swine flu, it was just a precaution..." She removed the mask, and JJ's suspicions were confirmed. _Juliette Waybourne. Jules. Princess. Queenie._ No matter what name she used now, it was still the same person. She flashed back to one particularly horrible day at Mount Horizon, the school where she met the first people she could call family.

"_...You've got your hiding place, I've got mine," Shelby said to her best friend Daisy before walking away. Although she would never admit it, she stopped to listen to Daisy's response when the reporter asked about her "damage". "Deeper than you can fathom" was the answer._

_The conversation carried on, and Shelby spaced until Jules asked the reporter what she did to end up there. "None of your business. What about you?"_

"_Cutter, and binge-purge queen. Sold diet pills to over half the girls in my class, messed myself up on laxatives and ended up in the hospital. Twice." Her mother had been a perfectionist, along with all of her siblings and half-siblings. And step-siblings. All of them, leaving Juliette with very low self-esteem, along with both physical and emotional scars._

Juliette looked like she gained weight; that was good. "So, Jennifer Jareau," she said, pulling JJ out of her thoughts, "you were..." her voice trailed off as she looked up.

Quickly, JJ came up with a plan. She knew Juliette would remember Shelby as a selfish bitch, so she used the sweetest voice possible as she asked, "Something the matter, doc?"

It worked. Dr. Waybourne shook her head. "Nothing. You just look like someone I know—knew." JJ almost flinched at the past tense. "But it's nothing. Anyways, all I have in your charts are the results of your medical exams, so you're going to have to tell me what happened."

"You first—how bad is it?"

"Well, you had to get twelve stitches to close up the gash in your leg. Normally I would demand that you use crutches, but I know how you FBI agents can be." She smiled, obviously thinking that she made a good joke, before continuing, "It seems that you passed out from a combination of blood loss, shock, and stress. Of course, I overheard you telling your coworkers that you can't remember your attack. You could be in shock, but it may be a symptom of something else so we will have to keep you here for a few days."

Before JJ could ask what her amnesia could be a symptom of, she was interrupted by another familiar face. "Hey, Twig, just thought you should know, Peter got in a fight at school."

Dr. Waybourne—Juliette—turned around. "You and your bad boy blood," She joked. "Hey, Augusto, doesn't she look exactly like Shelby?"

Auggie was Juliette's "illegal" boyfriend at Horizon. "Yeah, you know what, she does. Funny. Now, I have to run."

"'Kay, bye. Come back soon!" She waved.

"Husband?" JJ asked.

"Boyfriend," Juliette corrected, "but we've been together since high school."

JJ nodded. "Who are Shelby and Peter?"

"Shelby is the girl I was saying you look like. Peter is our son."

"Peter," JJ said, as if sounding out the name. "I've always liked that name."

"Yeah, we named him after...um, after somebody we both knew." JJ nodded; she was right. They named their son after the principal of their school.

"Anyways, you have to tell me what you remember."

JJ sighed and answered truthfully, "Nothing. Really. I...I know it was dark outside. I remember sitting in the car with Emily. But besides that...nothing."

"Knock knock," Garcia said, standing outside with the rest of the team. "Bad timing?"

"No," JJ answered quickly. Juliette looked concerned for a moment before agreeing. "Nope, we're good. Your friend is having trouble remembering what happened, so we will have to keep her here for a day or two. But it's most likely nothing to worry about."

"Most likely?" Prentiss frowned.

Hotch walked in the room, interrupting. "We have something important to discuss, if you don't mind."

"Of course not. I will come check on you later," Juliette promised before allowing the team in, and she exited. She slipped her surgical mask back on.

"JJ, Emily says you were almost raped." Hotch waited for a response, surprised when he didn't see any outward sign of recognition. _Shock_, he figured. She was still in shock. "Can you remember anything?"

"No, nothing."

"He could have hit her head..." Prentiss said worriedly.

"No, the doctors would have said something."

"Right. Okay, so what could cause him to escalate like that? Going from killing one victim approximately every other night, to killing one and almost raping and killing a federal agent in one night?"

"What caused him to start killing in the first place?"

"Uh, hey guys," Reid suddenly spoke up, "we have another problem. This guy...he is moving north, like we thought. Soon he will reach the school."

"You guys should go," JJ said.

"She's right," Hotch agreed. "We should go. Emily, stay with JJ—"

"No, I'm fine." At the team's skeptical looks, she added, "Really. They need all of you. Plus, I would really appreciate some time alone. Just to think."

"Jayje, sweetie, you're in shock. You can't remember anything."

"Do you really think that being verbally harassed by you guys for the next two days will help anything? Really, I promise that I will be fine. These girls need you. Not to pressure you, but you do have nine dead girls and counting."

That hit home. "Okay. But you'll call us as soon as you break out of here."

JJ smiled. "You know me so well."

An unfamiliar face opened the door. "Sorry, it's 9:00. Visiting hours are over."

"Already?" JJ asked, surprised. "Wasn't I attacked at night?"

The team shared a worried look. "You...you don't remember anything?"

JJ groaned. "No, I still don't. Now will somebody please tell me--"

"You woke up. But you were thrashing and screaming; you almost took out the doctors. They had to sedate you, and you were out cold for hours."

"...really? That's, um, embarrassing."

Morgan laughed. "That's an understatement."

JJ glared at him. "Thanks."

The doctor intervened again. "I'm sorry, but you really have to leave now."

"You got it, doc," Morgan said. "JJ, are you sure you want to be left alone? I mean, I know you do now, but you may change your mind, and the last thing I want is for you to be lonely in the hospital."

"I'm positive," JJ assured him. Then more quietly, "I think you should leave now—that doctor looks like he is about to flip his shit."

They all laughed, said goodbye, made sure she was positive that she wanted to be left alone before leaving the hospital.

"Good friends you have there," the doctor noticed. "But they are right—you shouldn't be left alone."

"You ever heard of the BAU?" The doctor shook his head. "It's a group of FBI agents that specialize in profiling. We are in the BAU. If they stayed here, I wouldn't have half a second to myself." _Plus,_ she added silently,_ they would never let me sneak out_.

"Oh. Okay then. You should get your rest; maybe the memory will come back to you." The doctor turned around and left.

"Yeah, well if it's what I think, I'm happier not remembering," JJ said to herself. She was surprised by how tired she was, and she drifted off immediately. And the memory came back.

_Walt looked up. Walt. She hadn't seen him in eight years; not after he finally got arrested. But here he was; he was after her._

_It all made sense now—the going north, trying to find her at her old high school; the removing of the shirts and looking for the scar he left. And the murders starting as soon as he got out of prison. It all fit together—why hadn't she seen it before?_

_She hadn't noticed that she had dropped her gun until he came after her. She also didn't know what he was saying, but she caught the drift. It was her fault, everything was. All he ever did was love her, he said._

"_And Jess," She reminded him, and began to run. He followed her into an ally. Where was Prentiss? Then again, maybe it was better she didn't see this._

_Something slashed at her ankle, and she fell. Rolling over, she saw that Walt had thrown a knife at her. As it zoomed past, it left a deep gash in her leg. Blood was pouring out; she couldn't even stand. As she struggled to crawl away, Walt came up to her._

"_It's really you this time, isn't it, Shelby?" He asked as he moved to take off her shirt._

_Everything was a blur, and JJ wasn't sure whether it was because of the shock or the blood loss. She hardly felt the searing pain in her leg, though, as Walt reached over to touch her._

"_FBI! Freeze, don't move!" she heard Emily scream. Walt looked up and saw Prentiss before bolting away._

_JJ mentally begged Prentiss to go after him; she would be okay, she would be fine, just catch him! Of course, being Emily, she crouched down next to JJ and let Walt escape. Again._

JJ woke with a gasp. She remembered. Walt was back, and Walt was after her.

She wondered what would be the best thing to do. Eventually, the team would find out. Unless they never caught him, though. She could probably do that—make sure she did everything in her power to keep him from being caught. But then, she figured, he would keep killing. She knew Walt, he was determined yet flexible. If she wasn't available, then he would keep killing people. Just like with Jess. When Shelby wasn't there anymore, Walt replaced her with Jess. After Shelby ran away, and left Jess all alone...

_No_. She would not think like that.

JJ realized that she would have to tell them. The walls that she spent years and years building, the protection she created for herself, was about to crumble. No, not crumble: be knocked down.


	8. Chapter 8

**Yay, thanks for all the incredible reviews! They really keep me going. Enjoy!**

Augusto Ciceros POV

There was absolutely no way FBI SSA Jennifer Jareau could be Shelby Merrick—definitely no way. She was too nice. Of course, she did look exactly like her, but Shelby was an annoying snob, and Jennifer was an overall nice person. Exceptionally nice.

"Hey, Twig," Auggie greeted, kissing her on the cheek. Juliette grinned at the nickname she acquired in high school.

"Hi! Back already?"

"Yeah, I was on the phone with the school. Apparently he bit Thomas again."

"How bad?"

"Well, there were no teeth marks this time."

"Well, that's good." Juliette paused. "Do you think...I mean, when he's old enough...that he could benefit from going to Mount Horizon?"

Augusto stared at her for a moment. "I think we should wait until he's older to make that decision."

Juliette nodded. "Yeah, of course."

**The next morning...**

Juliette and Auggie just arrived at work when Dr. Stewart approached them. "Excuse me, Dr. Waybourne, was that FBI agent Jareau your business?"

"Yes, why?"

"She escaped last night, right after you two left; so around ten o'clock."

Juliette sighed. "Of course. They're all the same."

"Not this one." Juliette and Auggie looked at him, confused. "She left a bunch of notes on some stationary. Here's one that was on the door. There are others like it in the room." He handed her the paper, and walked away muttering something along the lines of, "Freakin' crazy FBI agents. Delusional or something, crazy..."

She laughed at the angry doctor. She gasped as she read the note.

"What's the matter?" Auggie asked.

"It was Shelby." She took off for the room immediately. He grabbed her by the arm. "Whoa, whoa, slow down there. How can you be sure?"

She stuffed the note into his hand and began running towards the room. He looked down. "Jules, I'm dyslexic. I can't read this."

She sighed, turning around. "It says, 'Hey Queenie, glad to know things worked out between you and Auggie."

"Definitely Shelby," Auggie agreed, and the couple began running towards their former classmate's room, ignoring all the yells and insults and few curses they got as they rushed through the halls of the hospital.

Juliette threw the door open, startling the poor nurse that was staring in confusion at the notes taped up around the room.

"We've got it from here, miss," Auggie said, escorting her out the door.

They immediately began taking down the notes. There were some asking about the other people in the Cliffhangers group with them. "How is Freikin?" or "Has Scott asked about me?" There was even "Is Daisy mad at me?" One on the dresser asked if Sophie and Peter were still together, and another by the door complemented Juliette's new hair style.

Auggie looked over, and saw her standing frozen over the bed holding the last piece of stationary in both of her shaking hands. "What's the matter, Jules?" he asked.

"This note," she responded vaguely.

"Gee, be less specific," he said sarcastically.

She threw him a death glare. "Augusto!" She snapped.

"What?"

"This note. It says...it says he's back."

"Okay. And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Augusto...she was attacked and almost raped."

"You don't think...?"

"I do. It was Walt. Walt is back, he attacked her."

There was a moment of panicked silence before Auggie said, "We've got to go to Horizon."

"Why?"

"Didn't you say that's where her FBI team was going? It's because they know that he's after somebody that went to school there. Sooner or later, they are going to know about her. But we already do, and we can help."

"Okay. I'll get us the week off, you get the car ready."

CMHGCMHGCMHG

Fifteen minutes later, Juliette and Auggie were in the car, ready to leave.

"Maybe we should let Peter know we are coming up," Auggie suggested.

"Good idea. Do you think we should call the rest of the Cliffhangers too?"

"Why?"

"Well, because Shelb is in trouble. She needs us, and she needs them. Really, she needs all the help she can get. Plus, don't you think they'll want to know? All this time, none of us had any idea..."

"Doesn't sound like something Shelby would want," Auggie pointed out.

"No, but she's not Shelby anymore—she's Jennifer Jareau. I met Jennifer, and trust me when I say it's something she would want."

"Okay. I'll call Peter, and Scott and Ezra. You call Daisy, Jess, and Kat?"

"Perfect. Let's go."

Everybody reacted the way they predicted: Daisy, Jess, and Scott were angry, and Ezra and Kat were worried. But they all agreed to come up to Mount Horizon.

Peter hadn't answered his phone, but Auggie left a quick, unspecific message.

The ride up was pretty uneventful. Neither of them wanted to discuss the problem at hand, and small talk was scarce. They stopped for a minute to pick up their son from day care, and were at Mount Horizon by noon.

**Jennifer Jareau POV**

Now that her memory was back, she knew that Walt was going to come after her—she just knew it. She also knew that she had to escape.

The team was already on their way up to Horizon. They may already be there, she realized. But she had to go, or more people were going to die.

Quickly, she devised a plan of how to get out of the hospital. It was quite simple, really: just distract them long enough to get her out.

Of course, she couldn't think of a way to distract the doctors and nurses. And, as luck would have it, just as she was beginning to get somewhere in her plan, a few nurses rolled in a teenager on a gurney.

"You don't mind having a roommate, do you?" one of the nurses asked as they lifted the girl up onto the bed across the room from JJ's.

_I don't really have a choice, do I?_ She thought, but answered, "Of course not."

After getting JJ's roommate hooked up to all the necessary IV's and wires, they left. Eventually, the girl came around.

"Hi," JJ said quietly. "My name is Jennifer Jareau. You can call me JJ. What's your name?"

"I'm Nikki." the girl mumbled.

"How old are you?"

"Fifteen. W-where are we?"

"We are at the hospital. Do you not remember what happened?"

After a slight hesitation, Nikki responded, "No, I remember."

"What happened?"

"I tried to kill my self." Silence. "Again. I was caught this time."

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, me too. But not for trying—for being stupid enough not to bring the knife into my room."

"What do you mean?" JJ asked. She thought it was good for this girl to open up. After all, JJ knew what it was like to be closed off for a long time, and it was anything but a good feeling.

"I pulled out a drawer in the kitchen, and dumped its contents in the sink. I picked up a knife and...well, I'm sure you get the picture. My mom...she found me just as I was slitting my wrists." Nikki laughed. "You want to know the funny thing? She gave up on me. She called the ambulance and left me to die."

JJ was frozen silent, unable to keep from flashing back to one horrible night at home. One night that seemed to mirror Nikki's perfectly.

"Jennifer? Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. Sorry."

"Don't be. So, Jennifer, what did you do to end up in this hellhole?"

"Call me JJ. And I was..." She didn't know how to say this without giving away her past. "I was attacked."

"TMI."

"Sorry?"

"Too much info. I was being sarcastic."

"Oh. Well, um, you see I work for the FBI. We were after this man and he..." A plan suddenly formed in JJ's head.

"FBI?"

"Yeah, FBI. This man has killed nine people so far, and won't stop until we catch him." She heard Nikki inhale sharply. "I think I can help. You know, if you can help me get out of here, I think I can help with your problem, too."

"Problem?"

"Yeah. I know a place...I went to a place. A place that helps people with personal problems. Trust me, you _do not_ want to kill yourself. If I give you the name of this place, will you help me escape?"

"Sure, whatever."

"Great. I need you to just distract the doctors for me. Do you think you can do that?"

Nikki sat up and slowly pushed herself out of bed. "Honey, distraction is my specialty." She began walking towards the door.

"Wait, Nikki! The place, it's called Horizon. Just check it out."

"Will do," Nikki answered as she exited the room. JJ suddenly had another idea. Quickly, she grabbed a piece of stationary from the night table beside her bed and ripped it into about seven or eight pieces, and began scribbling notes down onto them. She wanted Jules and Auggie to know that it was her, that it was Shelby. Although she would never admit it, she wanted their help.

As she gathered her stuff, she taped up the notes around the room messily. Finally, she wrote one more. _He's back_. Just as she was contemplating where to place it, she heard Nikki screaming from the halls. "I want coffee! Just give me the damn coffee!" JJ smiled as she heard the nurses trying to calm her down. "No! Just give it to me! Aah!" JJ dropped the last note on the bed, grabbed her stuff, and ran out the front door as quickly as possible, forgetting to take off her hospital robe in the process. She rushed to her car.

She arrived at Horizon about three hours later, at one o'clock in the morning.

**Wow, these chapters were very boring. Sorry—I promise the next one will be interesting! JJ will arrive at Horizon, and possibly reunite with some other Cliffhangers? Read to find out! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

Aaron Hotchner POV

Hotch and his team arrived at the school, Mount Horizon, at midnight exactly. He felt bad, coming at such an unreasonable time, but this was important.

"Hey, Hotch," Reid said, "what do we know about the school principal?"

"Not much. Just that he—or she—helps teenagers with problems they might have."

"But we don't even know who we're looking for?"

"No, we will just have to ask around."

Reid nodded.

They walked around until they found a middle-aged, blonde woman. "Excuse me," Hotch said, showing his credentials, "I'm Aaron Hotchner with the FBI. Can you please tell me who is in charge here?"

"Of course." The lady said. "What happened that brought the FBI out here?"

"We have to discuss that with the director of this school."

"Sure, sure. I'm Sophie, by the way; I'm the counselor of one of the groups here. I'm also the director's wife," She informed as she began walking. The team followed her.

"What can you tell me about this school?" Rossi asked.

Sophie turned around and glared at him for a moment. "The first thing to know is that this is _not_ a school for stupid kids, or for children who have social issues. It is a school for adolescence who are having troubles at home and need a place where they can get the help they need, and be with people that understand them. Most people associate that with having problems, and I would like to stress the fact that this is not true."

The team profiled that she had a close, personal relationship with the students here. She defends them.

Hotch responded: "We would never assume anything. We just want to know about this school."

Sophie nodded and continued walking. "Kids come here for all reasons. Mostly drug addictions, although we do have run-aways, eating disorders, people who cut themselves, etc. Sometimes it's a combination of these that bring people here."

The team shared a concerned glance. A school like this would be hard to attend, and even harder to run.

Sophie held open a door for the team before walking into the building herself. There was a man sitting on a couch, looking down at a piece of paper. "Hey, Peter," Sophie said quietly.

"Hey, Soph," He responded, not looking up.

"We have some visitors." Now he looked up. He seemed surprised by the amount of people.

"I'm Aaron Hotchner with the FBI," Hotch repeated, flashing his credentials again.

"What can I do for you?"

Prentiss asked if they could take a seat; this would be long.

"Of course," was Peter's surprised response. The team had a seat on the couch across from Peter.

Suddenly, Hotch's phone rang. "Guys, tell Peter and Sophie what is going on, ask them for any information," Hotch ordered as he walked away, answering his phone.

"Hotchner."

"_Hey, Hotch, it's me."_

"JJ? Where are you?"

"_On the road—really close to Horizon, actually. Sorry I didn't call sooner; I didn't want Garcia to track me and send me back to the hospital."_

"How did you--?"

"_You didn't actually think that a few doctors would keep me there, did you?"_

Hotch didn't respond.

"_Hotch, I'm disappointed. Anyways, did you find the director yet?"_

"Yeah."

"_Well...what did you tell him?"_

Something bugged Hotch about that sentence, but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Well, we just got here. The team is talking to him right now."

"_Okay, well I'll let you get back to what you're doing. See you soon."_

Now he knew what was bugging him. "Wait—JJ? How did you know that the director was a 'he'? I never said anything..."

_Pause. "Lucky guess. Bye!"_

She hung up before he could ask anything else.

Hotch shrugged it off and went back to the rest of his team. "That was JJ," he told them. "She escaped."

Sophie gasped. "Wait—who escaped? What happened?"

Morgan chuckled. "Agent Jennifer Jareau, our media liaison. She escaped from the hospital."

Sophie laughed as well. "Oh. Sorry, I guess I'm a little paranoid. Why was she in the hospital?"

"We...we were doing a surveillance. She got attacked by the unsub." Prentiss answered.

"Unsub?"

"Unknown subject—our killer."

Sophie shuddered. "Oh."

Peter interrupted, "Look, I agree this is horrible, but what does it have to do with us? I mean, these kids are going through enough already, and I don't think being pressed by the FBI is going to do them much good. Plus, there's no way they can escape, and the killings haven't been here."

"We don't believe the students here are killing," Reid reassured him. "We do, however, believe he is after somebody who either is a student here, or used to be a student here."

"W-why would you say that?"

"He began killing at a certain place, then kept moving north. This school is the only sign of civilization for miles, and he is moving towards this school. This leads us to believe he is looking to kill a specific person, and that person probably has some sort of connection with this school."

"Well, I know everybody who stepped foot into this school, and basically all of them kept in touch with me. Tell me who you are looking for, and I'll find them for you."

"Basically all?" Rossi asked, worried.

"Yeah, there are a few people who had such horrible pasts, they cut off all connection with this school as soon as they graduated. But there are only a few examples."

Prentiss took over. "Well, we are looking for a blonde, blue-eyed female. She most likely either is or was a prostitute. There is a chance that her name is--"

"Shelby," Peter gasped.

Emily looked at Hotch. "Well, yes, actually. Is she--"

"No," Peter shook his head and pointed behind the profilers. "Shelby!"

They all turned around. Standing in the door way was JJ.

"No," Hotch said. "That's Jennifer Jareau, one of our team members."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Peter apologized. "You just...you look so much like one of my former students. She's one of the examples I was telling you about," he said, turning back to Hotch.

The BAU noticed that JJ was trying to keep her weight off of her injured leg. "JJ, have a seat," Morgan said, sliding over to make room for her.

"Thanks," she muttered as she limped over and took her seat. She kept her head down.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Um, what were you talking about before I came?"

"This is Peter—erm, I never really got your last name." Hotch pointed out.

"Scarbrow. I'm Peter Scarbrow, and this is my wife, Sophie Becker."

"Nice to meet you," she said sweetly.

"Likewise," Sophie said.

"So, you're saying I look like a Shelby?"

"Yes, is that significant?"

"Extremely," Hotch said. "Before JJ was attacked, the unsub called her Shelby. This is most likely who he is after. Can you think of anyone that would want to hurt Shelby?"

Sophie shook her head. "Shelby was never the nicest girl, but her intentions were good. She hid behind a mask of cruelty and anger because of her harsh past. She didn't want to develop strong emotions, because she believed that nobody was truly good. She didn't want to suffer any more."

Prentiss looked sympathetic. "I'm very sorry to hear that. But is there anyone that would want to hurt her? Anyone she was especially...mean to?"

"No, no one! I said she was angry, but never enough to do anything more than name-calling. Nothing bad, I swear."

"I do believe that she did nothing cruel to people, but do you know of anyone that would have taken it the wrong way?"

"Nobody comes to mind, sorry."

JJ's phone rang. She picked it up immediately. "Jareau."

"Another?" Pause. "Are you sure?" Pause. "Okay." Pause. "No, we are currently at the school, Mount Horizon." Pause. "Yes." Pause. "Okay sir. Please, don't hesitate to call." She hung up, then turned to Hotch.

"He's still out there," She mumbled.

"Well yes, JJ. He is a serial killer." Hotch was a little confused. JJ had been part of the BAU for years, and any first-year training to be in the FBI would know easily that a serial killer doesn't stop killing.

"But he thought he found her! If he was that sure, why would he keep attacking innocent girls?"

"Maybe he doesn't see them as innocent." Morgan pointed out. "Maybe he sees all prostitutes as guilty of something, especially ones that fit his victim types."

"Wait—attacking?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, this one survived. She kicked him with her heels, and ran. She is coming up to talk to us tomorrow. If that's okay?"

"Yes, of course it's fine," Peter answered.

"Great."

JJ closed her eyes. "Are you okay?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired."

"Of course," Peter said. "Would you like to stay in the Cliffhanger's cabin? They are currently on a week-long climb." Sophie frowned at this.

"Mrs. Becker? Everything okay?" Rossi asked.

"Please, call me Sophie. And I'm fine, I just feel like I should be out there with them. I am in charge of the Cliffhangers, after all. But my sister just had a baby, so I couldn't make it on this hike."

"Aw! Congratulations. If you don't mind me asking, what are the Cliffhangers?"

"A group of students here. Everybody that comes are put in different groups depending on a number of factors."

Reid yawned. "Let me get you to their bunk," Peter suggested, standing up. The team followed him to their new home. As soon as they arrived, they each plopped down onto a bed. JJ was the last in, and nearly gasped when she saw which bed was left. It was Shelby's old bed.

After doing their nightly rituals, Hotch lay in bed as each of the team members fell asleep. He was an insomniac; sleep never came easily.

Suddenly, he heard crying. Getting up quietly, he followed the noise until he found the source.

Sitting down on the edge of JJ's bed, he lightly stroked her hair. "What's the matter?"

She stiffened. He immediately withdrew his hand, and she relaxed again. "I could have stopped him."

Suddenly, Hotch was angry. What was this son of a bitch doing to his team? JJ was probably the strongest person there, and definitely the most innocent. Now, she was blaming herself. "JJ, this is _not_ your fault. Do you hear me? He was armed, and you weren't. There's absolutely nothing you could have done."

"That's not what I mean." She sniffed.

"Then what do you mean?"

She rolled over, so she was facing him. Her eyes were open wide, staring at him. "I just want to get some sleep, okay?" Hotch nodded and left, but was still worried.

And being woken up by JJ screaming just made him more concerned.


	10. Chapter 10

**I've reread this chapter so many times, I lost track. I'm still not so sure if this is how I wanted it, but it sounds pretty good, so I kept it lol.**

**Thanks so much for the great reviews! Really appreciate it.**

**This chapter is very eventful, and I hope it lives up to your expectations! :)**

Emily Prentiss POV

Emily had fallen asleep relatively quickly, and woken up just as fast when she heard screaming from the bed next to hers. She rolled over and leaped out of bed, then ran over to JJ's side.

JJ was screaming, tossing and turning in her sleep.

_Nightmare,_ Emily realized.

"Shh, JJ, it's okay," Emily hushed. "Wake up, JJ." She put her arm on JJ's and pulled her into a hug to stop her thrashing.

It was then she started forming words in her shrieks. "No! Get off! Don't! Don't...touch me! NO!" Tears streamed down her face.

By now, the rest of the BAU was crowded around the scene.

"JJ! Wake up, it's just a dream!" Emily yelled, panicked.

One more scream, and she finally jerked awake. Her face was covered in a thin layer of sweat and tear streaks left marks down her cheeks. She didn't even bother to wipe them away as she sat up, panting.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," She said, completely embarrassed.

"Don't be," Emily said quietly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

JJ shook her head defiantly.

"I really think it would be better to."

"No." Her voice shook.

"JJ..."

"I said no. I don't want to talk about it."

Hotch nodded. "The victim is coming up in an hour; we might as well get ready."

"Yeah. What time is it now?" JJ asked, desperate for a change in the subject.

"Nine. Prentiss, I want you to interview the victim; she will have an easier time with a female."

"Of course."

Emily was left wondering whether more had happened with JJ and the unsub before she arrived.

CMHGCMHGCMHG

"Hello, my name is Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss. What's your name?"

Prentiss and the latest victim were sitting in Peter's office. She was trying to interview her, but was so far unsuccessful. She was looking down, staring at the table between them. Apparently, she hadn't said a word since the attack.

"Jess, right? Is your name Jess?"

No answer.

"Can you tell me about the man who assaulted you?"

Still no answer.

"I need something here, Jess. Please, just talk to me. Anything will help."

She didn't even look up.

"Do you want something to eat or drink? Would you like water?"

Prentiss sighed. "Look, I know this is hard, but you're one of the only people who can help us catch him." Suddenly, something hit her. It was a long shot, and was probably going to have a strong negative effect on one of her team members, but they needed to get somewhere with her.

"Jess, would it help to talk to someone you can relate to? I know somebody, one of my teammates, went through a similar situation with the same bad guy. Would you like me to get her?"

Although she didn't say anything, Jess's head moved up just a little bit.

"I'll go call her; I'll be right back." Emily stood up and pulled out her phone. She dialed JJ's number.

"_Mm? Emily? What's up?"_

JJ had received an extra few hours of sleep due to the events of the morning. "JJ, sorry to wake you, but I really need you to talk to the victim—she's not saying anything, and I was thinking..."

"_Sure, sure, I'll be there right away. And Emily, you didn't wake me."_

Prentiss hung up her phone and walked back towards Jess. "She is coming down. Her name is Jennifer Jareau. She will try talking to you. Okay? Will you do me a favor and try with her?"

Emily could have sworn she saw her head nod slightly.

There was a soft knocking on the door. Prentiss walked back over and opened it. "Hey," She said quietly. "I'm so sorry, but she's not even looking at me, I needed help." Then, more loudly, "This is Jennifer Jareau. JJ, this is--"

"Shelby." Jess was looking up at JJ. Her voice was hoarse from not talking, but still confident and strong.

JJ just stood, looking in shock.

Jess spoke again. "You said you were bringing Jennifer in."

"This is Jennifer," Emily said.

"No, that's Shelby."

"You know Shelby?"

"She is my sister. I can't believe you left me again! You apologized, you said you were sorry, and then you left again..." Jess's voice was getting progressively louder.

"Jess, please don't say that about her. Her name is not Shelby, it is--"

"I'm sorry."

Prentiss looked on in shock. _But that means..._ She looked at JJ, whose eyes were down, suddenly interested in the floor. Regret? Guilt?

"How could you?" Tears began to fall freely down Jess's face.

"I had to. He...he wouldn't leave me alone."

"You changed your name. As if running away wasn't enough, you changed your name!"

JJ stared at her, eyes wide. "Don't you understand? I did it for you! I was just a reminder, just a reminder of what happened...And I did it for everyone else, too. I was horrible, I had to leave. I had to."

"They loved you!" She screamed. "Ezra--"

"Ezra?" JJ whispered.

"Yes, Ezra! Remember, 'Freikin'? He turned down a full-ride scholarship because he thought you were going to come back, he thought he was going to see you! Jules and Auggie, they both drove three hours up here every day to see if anyone heard from you. _Every day_. Daisy became goth again. It took her years to outgrow it this time, because she didn't have you to help her. And Kat had to go on anti-depressants for a year! As if everything that happened with her sister wasn't enough, you disappearing off the face of the earth just pushed her over the edge. You put us all through hell!"

JJ's eyes filled up with tears, but she refused to let them fall.

"JJ?" Emily asked softly.

JJ turned to Emily. "I know why he removes the shirt," she answered carefully. Emily looked at her, encouraging her to continue. She took a deep breath as she lifted her own blouse, as high as she dared without taking it off. There was a red line, a scar, running from her right hip up to the left side of her abdomen. Emily couldn't see the end of the scar.

"JJ..."

"He did all this because of you?" Jess asked in terror.

JJ smoothed her shirt back down. "Jess, you have to understand..."

"I do understand! He came after people like us because he wanted to get back at you! Then you left me again, and he attacked me. Again."

JJ looked agonized. Emily didn't know what was going on, but based on JJ's expression...well, she realized that she couldn't even fathom her pain. "Did he...?" JJ's throat felt so tight, she couldn't even finish her sentence.

"No, not this time. But he came pretty damn close. No thanks to you."

It was then that Jess realized two very important things. "Wait a second..." she turned back to Prentiss. "You said that you would call down a teammate who I could relate to."

Emily opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't find her voice. She closed her mouth and nodded.

Jess nodded as well. "So, Shelb...you now work for the FBI." She laughed a false, hoarse laugh. Almost as if the sound was foreign, as if laughing was something that happened on a rare occasion. "Never would have imagined that. Don't they have to be able to keep promises in the bureau?"

"Jess, you don't get it--"

"Oh, I get it." She took a deep breath. "But your...partner here said that we could relate. So did he...uh, did he get to you too?"

JJ nodded. "I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Emily. She saved my life."

"How far?"

"Not very. But he knows that I'm out here. He knew it was me."

Jess nodded. "Typical Shelby. Putting everyone else in danger, just to save herself."

Now Emily was angry. "Hey, do _not_ talk about her like that! JJ..." Emily realized she didn't exactly know who she was talking about, but she did know that JJ was her friend. "Um, she was attacked by this man. The same man that attacked you. She didn't put others in danger; and she was almost killed."

JJ nodded vigorously. "She's right. As soon as Emily came out with that gun, he ran."

Jess was still angry. She was yelling something at JJ (something about always thinking only of herself) when Emily's phone rang. "Sorry," she mumbled, "I have to get this." She flipped open her phone. "Prentiss."

"_Emily? Get JJ on, right _now_,"_ Garcia's angry voice demanded.

"Sure, she's right here," she said. Emily was completely overwhelmed by everything that was going on. She put her cell phone on speaker and held it out. "Okay, Penelope, you're on speaker."

It didn't occur to her that maybe Jess shouldn't hear this.

"_Jennifer Jareau!"_ Garcia yelled. Emily noticed Jess sit up a little straighter; listening for any information on her sister's double life. _"You should have at least called me!"_

"Yeah, Pen, I don't know what you're talking about." JJ said, confused.

"_Yes you do! You escaped from the hospital!"_

"Hospital?" Jess exclaimed. "When he...attacked you?"

There was a short silence on the other end of the phone. _"Is...is there someone else there?"_

"Erm, yeah, our latest...uh, victim," Emily said awkwardly, stealing a glance at Jess to see her reaction. Or, in this case, lack thereof. She just sat still, staring down at the table. Again.

"_Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay, kitten?"_

This time, Emily was surprised by the unexpected reaction. Jess stood up so fast that her chair fell over backwards. Both her face and JJ's became unusually pale, and both of them stood, stiff and frozen to the spot.

JJ recovered first. She walked over to Jess and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's okay," she whispered. "She didn't mean anything. It's okay, I promise."

"_Uh, you guys there?"_

"Yeah, sorry Garcia." JJ apologized.

"_For what?"_

JJ didn't have an answer, so Emily intervened. "Uh, Penelope, I think it would be best if--"

"_Yeah. Bye!" _She hung up immediately.

"What was that?" Emily asked. She tried to sound comforting and kind, but being stuck with the sisters and having no idea what was going on was taking a toll on her and it came out rudely.

Jess looked at JJ. "What does she know?"

JJ looked away and pretended she didn't hear.

"She doesn't know anything." It came out as more of a statement as she shrugged away from JJ's hand. "You didn't tell them anything?"

"It didn't happen to me. It happened to Shelby," JJ explained, as if that cleared everything up.

Jess backed away, horrified. "You are Shelby. It doesn't matter what your name is now, it was still you."

"No."

"Does that mean I'm no longer your sister?"

Now JJ looked up in horror. "No! Jess, you're my sister and I love you--"

"No. Shelby is my sister. Either you are my sister Shelby, or not."

"Jess--"

Jess looked at Emily. "Can you get her to leave now?"

Emily had no choice. She couldn't force Jess to talk to JJ.

JJ knew this as well. Without waiting for a request from Emily, she walked out of the room quickly.

Emily could have sworn she saw a single tear running down her cheek.

**Soo? What do you think? **


	11. Chapter 11

**Was anyone as excited as me to see Peter on NCIS?!?!**

**I know there's a lot of questions about exactly what Walt did to Shelby. I know that he molested her, but I also think that he raped her. It never said it outright, but when Shelby asks Jess "Did he make you have sex with him?" and then she says "he did it to me too" I took that as he raped her as well as touched her. Just my opinion, and that's how I'm writing it. Sorry if you don't see it the same way.**

Jennifer Jareau POV

JJ walked out of the room quickly, trying to save whatever dignity she had left. Her whole life had just completely unraveled, and to make it worse, her friend and sister had been there to see it.

She cursed the tear sliding down her cheek as she wiped it away. If there was one thing that Shelby and JJ had in common, it was that they were both incredibly strong. They didn't lose their composure, and they did _not_ cry.

JJ nearly walked into Hotch. "Whoa there." he said. "Hey, weren't you supposed to grab a few more hours of sleep?" he asked as the rest of the team appeared behind him. Apparently this was the place to be. Wonderful.

"Yeah, Emily needed some help with the victim..." she said absently. Through her years in hell, JJ (or Shelby, rather) had learned that when faced with a difficult situation, it was best to separate yourself emotionally. But, like most things, that was way more easier said than done.

"JJ, what the hell?" _Speak of the devil_, JJ thought as Emily's voice sounded from behind her.

JJ whirled around. "Em, where's Jess?"

"She completely broke down in there; I doubt she even knows I left."

Hotch looked at Emily, shocked. "Prentiss, you left an assault victim alone, crying?"

"Hotch, with all due respect, you did not just witness what I did."

"What do you mean?"

Ignoring him, Emily turned to JJ. "Jayje, did he rape you?"

JJ just about heard Reid's jaw drop to the floor. "Emily..."

"Jennifer, answer the question."

JJ was frozen for a minute. She never called JJ "Jennifer". Never.

"JJ, answer her." Rossi ordered.

"Um..."

"JJ."

"He...he just..."

"JJ."

"Yes!" She screamed. Everyone stared at her. "Yes! Are you happy now? Because I sure as hell am not!"

Emily just looked beyond her, staring at the wall. "But when I got there, he hadn't even taken your shirt off yet. You were still dressed. I wasn't that far behind..." By the end, she was more talking to herself than anyone else.

JJ shook her head, then whispered, "Not then."

The team thought they heard it wrong. "What?" Reid asked.

JJ sighed. "It's ironic, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Walter Blaine."

"You mean the guy who molested his step-daughters? The one who got let out of prison? What does he have anything to do with this?" Rossi asked.

"You know his name, you know everything about him. You could probably tell me his favorite color. But do you know the names of his step-daughters?" The confused agents shook their heads slowly. "Of course you don't. The monsters are all we care about, all we notice." The team noticed that she said "monsters" instead of "unsub" or even "bad guy". That was definitely an emotional connection. "The victims are nothing to us. Well, their names are Merrick. Shelby and Jess Merrick."

It clicked for Emily. She gasped, and her hand flew to cover her mouth. "Oh my gosh."

"Still not getting it," Morgan complained.

"That's Jess Merrick in the other room, crying," JJ said.

"Oh. So is Walter Blaine the unsub?" JJ nodded. "So he's looking for Shelby. How are we going to find her?"

"You won't have to look far." Peter's voice came from behind the team.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Hotch said.

"No, I'm not leaving. I just got Juliette's call. She said you were coming up!"

"Peter, you need to get out of here, now," Hotch insisted.

"Shelby, she said you were coming. She told me what happened! Let us help you!"

"JJ, please escort Mr. Scarbrow out of here," Hotch ordered.

JJ didn't know what it was that made the response slip out. Maybe it was flashbacks. Maybe, as Reid would have explained, because scent is the strongest sense, the smell of the woods had triggered some sort of memory that caused her to say it. Whatever it was that forced it out, JJ said, "Yes, my captain."

Hotch looked at JJ, baffled. That reply was so...un-JJ. There was no other way to describe it. "Oh, gosh," she gasped. "I'm sorry, it just..."

"I knew it," Peter smiled triumphantly.

"What? What's going on? What did you know?" Reid asked.

"That's what Shelby used to always say to me. You are Shelby."

Just then, everything seemed to get about a hundred times worse. The doors behind JJ flew open. Peter's eyes grew wide, as did the team's. JJ turned on her heel. Coming up to greet her was a familiar face. And an unfamiliar fist.

JJ cringed as the fist made contact with her face. Morgan ran up and grabbed Daisy's arms, pulling her far away from JJ. Ezra was standing in the doorway, not wanting to get involved.

"Hey! You don't touch her!" He yelled, his grip tightening quickly as Daisy struggled.

"No! She left! She left us all!" She screamed. "How could you do that to us? To your _sister? _She's on her way up here, you know. You're going to have to face her!"

"Jess was...on her way up?" JJ asked quietly. Morgan looked at her in confusion, his grip lessening ever so slightly.

"JJ, what are you...?"

"JJ?" Daisy snorted as she finally escaped Morgan's grasp. "You are now--"

"Daisy!" another voice? JJ turned around again. Jess had gotten out!

Jess walked up to hug Daisy, but Hotch defensively held her back. He was trying to protect her; she had, after all, just attacked JJ.

Instinct took over. JJ screamed and tried to push Hotch away from her sister. "No! Don't touch her! Stay away! Get away from her! NO!"

Daisy, Ezra, and Emily understood what was going on. Both Ezra and Emily tried to hold JJ back, tried to keep her from attacking Hotch. She struggled in their grasp until, finally, she began crying and nearly fell over from exhaustion. The only thing that kept her from falling to the ground was Emily and Ezra's arms around her.

Jess took a tentative step forward. "You don't have to protect me anymore, you know. He's your boss, he's not going to do anything to me. Walt isn't here, he can't hurt us."

"He did hurt us," JJ sobbed, leaning farther into her friend's arms.

"But that was different. That was a single attack, something that will leave us no different than we were before. That was nothing. That was not the monster; that was Walt."

JJ took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. "And that's not what I'm talking about. What he did—well, that will stick with us forever. That's who we are now. Thanks to him, our entire lives are completely different; completely changed."

Hotch asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "JJ, is there something we should know?"

Daisy snorted as she backed further away from JJ. "Yeah, _JJ_, is there anything you haven't told them about? Like, I don't know, your life?" Emily and Ezra both unwillingly let go of JJ as she feebly pushed them away.

Morgan turned towards Daisy. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?"

Daisy's icy stare turned to JJ. "I'm _supposed_ to be her best friend. I guess she couldn't hold on to those very long, now could she? First Patty, now me. Who's next?"

"Don't talk about her like that!" JJ snapped. "Patty's death was her own fault. You can't throw that weight on me—I've been dealing with people doing that my whole life. And for a while, I believed them! But now, I know different. Now, I can live for myself."

"JJ?" Rossi asked expectantly.

JJ sighed. "Patty was my best friend. She taught me...how to survive. One day, she OD'd. I...I watched her die. I sat and watched my best friend die."

"Serves you right!" Daisy yelled. "If you hadn't--"

"Daisy, come on, don't lay this all on her. She's had a hard enough time."

"Shut up, Freikin. I can do this myself."

Hotch was completely overwhelmed. "Okay. Let's take this one step at a time. Who are you?" He asked the curly-haired man.

"Ezra Freidkin; Daisy's wife." JJ flinched at this—she had missed her best friend's wedding?

"Right. JJ, first thing's first. Do you know this Shelby?"

"Yes."

"Who is she?"

JJ looked up at Jess pleadingly. She couldn't do this; there was no way. After spending ten years building up these walls, she couldn't knock them down on her own. She wouldn't be able to live with herself.

But Jess refused to play this game.

Luckily for her, she didn't have to.

"You left me." One more voice, one more person in the room. JJ didn't even have to turn around to see who it was; she would recognize that voice anywhere.

"I told you I love you, and you left me. How dare you, Shelby Merrick? How could you?" Scott Barringer exclaimed from the doorway.

**Oh my gosh, literally the hardest thing I've _ever_ written. Please review! Good? Bad? What do you think?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry about the long wait! It was so hard to type, and then I was having laptop issues. Anyways, here's the next chapter! Hope it lived up to what you all expected.**

**Wow, just found the most AMAZING quote for this story. So great, in fact, that I'm going to put it in bold AND underline AND italics. **

_**Secrets are made to be found out with time.**_

**~Charles Stanford**

Derek Morgan POV

Hotch was furious as JJ stood, gaping at the blonde figure in the doorway. "That's it! Jennifer, we need answers," he demanded, taking control like the natural leader he was.

The man in the door snorted. "Jennifer. Of course, you would run. I take it you don't know about Shelby or Walt or me?"

"No, no, and no," Morgan answered. "But answers would be very much appreciated."

"I'm Scott Barringer. Shelb—erm, Jennifer--"

"I got this one, Scott," JJ said coolly.

"Really? Last I remembered, you have something against talking..."

"Yeah, well last time I tried to tell someone, he dumped me. So I guess I have a pretty good reason," JJ spat.

"JJ, come here right now. You all can...stay here." Hotch said, addressing all the strangers in the room. He walked towards the room that JJ and Emily had questioned Jess in, and was followed by the rest of the team. He closed the door behind him.

"Who is Shelby?" Hotch asked, getting straight to the point.

JJ sighed, defeated. They already knew, anyways. "Me."

"Why?"

"Well, my dad liked the name Allie, but my mom..."

"JJ!" Rossi yelled. "This is so unlike you. What is going on here?"

"I changed my name. And my personality. I guess Shelby is shining through now. It must be the setting," JJ figured. Being back in the school definitely impacted her.

"Why would you change your name?"

"So he wouldn't find me."

"Who?"

"Walt. But that didn't work out so well."

"Who is Walt?" Reid asked.

"The man who attacked me, Jess, and all those other women."

"You knew him? How?"

JJ sighed. "This is going to take a while."

Hotch looked at her expectantly. "We have time."

"I was born Shelby. When I was five, my mom got pregnant again, and my dad left. Not sure why, he just did. After my sister was born, my mom remarried to a man named Walt. I was seven. I...he...I was seven. Only seven."

"JJ, did what happen to me happen to you?" Morgan asked, worried.

JJ looked up at him, then at Emily. They were surprised to see unshed tears shining in her eyes. "No. No! No it didn't. How can you think that?" she screamed. "No, you son of a bitch! No! NO! Leave me alone! Just leave! NO!" JJ began sobbing and stood up. Emily followed suit and tried to hug her, but JJ shoved her so hard she just fell to the ground. "No! No! No," She was crying so hard now that she fell to her knees. Cautiously, Morgan walked over and lightly embraced her. She was sobbing too hard to do anything. Slowly, one by one, each and every person in the room came over into the group hug. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."

Rossi was taken aback. "Jennifer, you know this was not your fault, right?"

"Of course. What happened to me was all his fault. But everything else...everything else was my fault."

"Everything else?"

"My sister."

"JJ, that is _not_ your fault."

"But it is. I trusted him! After he...even after years, years, I still trusted him. Because I kept my end of the deal, I thought he would keep his. It's my fault my sister is the way she is."

"No it is _not_!"

"But it is!" JJ wailed. "He told me that if I didn't tell anyone, he wouldn't touch my sister. He promised me! So I never told anyone. Never! Until I was sent home because Walt had a heart attack. Then I found out he did it to my sister. He lied to me! He lied, and so did my mom. She said she didn't know."

"JJ, maybe she didn't."

"But she did. Later, after I called the police, she finally admitted it. Of course, after telling them that all I do is cause trouble. My sister wouldn't admit to anything; it made it real, it made her dirty. But they threatened to take us away, and my mom couldn't stand to have Jess taken away. So she admitted it. I asked her why she told me she didn't know, and she said that it was because she didn't want to. Lame excuse. As if I wanted him to do that to me!"

Everybody stared at JJ with a mixture of emotions. Mostly pity and sympathy, although there was still confusion and worry. So she broke the silence. "My whole life revolved around him—my whole life. When I was little, he was the monster. When I ran away, I was running from him. When I came home, it was to keep him alive. I wanted more than anything to just kill him. And I could have, so easily. I could have slipped him the wrong pill, I could have just dehydrated him. But I didn't, because then people would know and my sister would be in danger. Because he wasn't worth it." She smiled a fake, ironic smile. "You know what's sad? The best thing about JJ is the fact that I can close my eyes and not see him. The best thing about not being Shelby anymore is finally being able to relax."

Reid's mouth was hanging open. "How old were you when it started?"

To his surprise, anger gleamed in her eyes as her head snapped up to stare at Reid. "You want details?" She asked angrily. "I am telling you what happened to me as a kid, and you want details?"

Reid looked terrified, so Hotch took over. "JJ, we need to know everything."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, it's just..." JJ took deep breaths to calm down.

"Take your time," Morgan suggested. "I promise, it does help to talk about it. It may seem hard at first, but you really will feel better."

JJ glared at him, her eyes seemed to burn holes in his face. "I doubt it. As a matter of fact, I tried to tell somebody, and it just made my life worse. I didn't even think that was possible, but it was. So no, talking does not help. Which is why I created JJ. Because she wasn't Shelby; because nothing ever had to happen to her. Because she was innocent."

Morgan and Hotch exchanged a meaningful glance. Hotch changed the subject: "Where did the name Jennifer Jareau come from?"

"Jennifer is Jess's middle name. Jareau is my aunt's maiden name: my mother's brother's wife. I thought it was different enough, I thought it was over. It wasn't."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You don't have anything to be sorry for. Just my parents." JJ took a deep breath. "She took him back. There was no physical evidence, so he wasn't convicted." She laughed cruelly. "Like me, my mother, and my sister as witnesses wasn't enough. Fucking crazy jury. But she took him back. After what he did to me, to Jess," she nearly spat her sister's name. Disgusted with herself, with her step-father. "Then Jess started running away, too. He blamed me for everything. But with neither of us there...he tried to rape my mother. Then, when that didn't work, he tried to kill her. It's ironic, isn't it? He m—he moles—uh, he hurt me and my sister for years. The first time he attacked my mother, the neighbors heard and called the police. Only took them ten years.

"He went free after completely ruining two lives for good, yet he got convicted for just giving her what she deserves."

"JJ, I don't even know what to say."

"Nothing" was her response. She stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"Good question," she answered. "There's nowhere for me now."

"That's not what I meant--"

"I know." she said as she made her way to the door.

"JJ, you can't leave now. We still don't know everything—"

"Yeah, Hotch?" She exclaimed, turning back around. There was a certain fire in her eyes, which froze the team. "Because you all know more about me than I ever planned! Hell, you know more about me than anyone. And how can I expect you to understand, if even I don't?"

"What do you mean, you don't understand?"

"I—uh--" JJ spluttered. "Nothing. Nothing."

"Jayje, it's poison. It's eating you up inside. Soon, you will have to spit it out or it will kill you." Morgan said softly.

JJ looked up with a different type of sad on her face—no longer hurt, but more longing. "That's almost exactly what Daisy said to me, before I told her everything."

"Daisy? The one who punched you?"

JJ chuckled. "That's the one. Same old Daisy."

"Same old Daisy? What, has she beaten you up before?"

"No, no, nothing like that," JJ laughed again. "But she...well, she tried to smash her father's head in with a golf club."

The silence in the room was audible. "Um...you were friends with her? Didn't that make you feel...I don't know, unsafe?" Rossi tried.

"Nope. You see, she attacked him after he tried to abuse her. I mean, he and her mother were drunks that did abuse her, but he went a little to far and...well, the seven-iron was in reach."

"How did you meet her?" Reid asked.

"Same place I met Auggie and Queenie, and Scott, and Kat, and Freikin, and--"

"Queenie? Freikin?"

"Yeah. I was a bitch back then. Jules was bulimic, so I called her names like Princess, Queenie, etc. Auggie called her Twig. Ezra Freidkin was just plain Freikin."

"Oh. So you know them how?"

"Another long story."

"JJ, come on," Hotch insisted.

"No. Look, I'm sorry but I really do not want to talk about it right now."

Hotch sighed. "JJ, we have to know _everything_."

"Yes, and I respect that! Were you here the past fifteen minutes when I told you everything about my life? It's just this one thing—look, I just can't talk about it. Okay? I can't!"

Morgan looked at Hotch. JJ had just spilled her life story, about how she was molested and raped for years by her step-father. If she wasn't talking about this...well, it must be bad, he figured.

"Ugh, what the hell am I doing?" JJ groaned. "Look, all you need to know is one name. Walter Blaine."

"The bastard that article was about? What about him?"

"Walter Blaine...Walt."

"Oh, gosh. He's your step father?" Morgan asked. JJ nodded. He turned to Reid. "Hey kid, what exactly did the article say?"

"Um," he squeaked. He cleared his throat and let his voice return to its normal pitch before continuing, "They let a pedophile who sexually abused and raped his two step-daughters for over ten years walk free because they needed the jail cell."

"Jayje, I'm so sorry. Ten years, you must feel--"

"Don't tell me how I feel," she snapped, then winced. "I'm so sorry. I used to be a bitch...I guess it's the abuse thing. I'm becoming Shelby again. I worked so hard to become JJ and now...well, now it was ten years wasted. Ten more years. G-d, I was such a bitch!"

"You did what you knew how to. All you had ever learned was how to put up walls, how to block out emotions. So that's what you did. Nobody can ever blame you."

JJ nodded, holding back tears yet again. "Yeah, okay. Thanks. Go catch the asshole now."

Rossi sighed. "JJ, you're going to have to talk at some point."

"No, I won't."

"We already know."

JJ froze. "What—what do you mean?"

"Profilers, remember? He's targeting blonde, blue-eyed...prostitutes."

**Whew! That was hard, again. More coming up next chapter—Garcia coming up next chapter! Yay!**

**So, reviews are very much appreciated. I am actually not sure if I am going to keep this, so please please PLEASE tell me what you think. Thanks!**

**And to anyone who was wondering, YES, I did intentionally use scenes from HG in this chapter :) **

**PS--who else is super excited for CM tomorrow night? I heard they are going to go more into JJ's backstory, but I don't know if this is true or not.**

**PPS--is it just me over-analyzing everything, or does anyone else notice all the similarites between JJ and Shelby in the actual TV shows?**

**wow, very long AN. Ciou for now!**


	13. Chapter 13

**So obviously, for the sake of this story we are going to say that Risky Business, despite it being an AMAZING episode, never happened. ;)**

**I know the dates / years are all off, I realized this after I wrote the first chapter. We can pretend that Shelby was a junior when HG took place, and it was in 1999 not 2000. Cool? Cool.**

Penelope Garcia POV

Garcia rarely ever went with the team on their cases, and she was thankful. She couldn't stand the dead bodies, the stench, the sight. She couldn't stand the grieving families.

But this time was different.

Nobody had called her for hours and hours. They called to tell her that JJ was in the hospital, but after that...nothing. She had to call _them_ when JJ escaped! Usually, they call her with that kind of thing.

What was going on?

And because they didn't call her, she had nothing to do. So she did the only thing she could think of.

"Hey, Kevin! I need an SOS. Wanna come keep me company?"

"_Anything for you, sweetness._"

Garcia giggled. "Come here ASAP. Ooh, and bring a ginormous coffee!"

"_You got it. Be there soon!"_

Garcia hung up, smiling. She loved Kevin so much; he was like the male version of her. It was nice having somebody around when the team was gone.

A few minutes later, when Garcia was hacking some website so she could play their game for free, Kevin walked in with two large coffees.

"Yay!" Garcia exclaimed, not even turning around. Nothing could distract her for the moment.

"How did you know I was here?" Kevin asked, perplexed.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you? I'm a psychic." She responded, turning around. He handed her the coffee, which she drank greedily.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know, some game. Wanna play? We can do two players."

"You bet!"

In the middle of sword fighting and laser-pointing, Garcia's phone rang. She picked it up after only one ring. "You've reached Garcia the Great. Anything you want can and will be done in record time. Only 9.99 a month," she added quickly.

"_Well, Garcia, if that's all you want, I'm sure we can talk it over with Strauss and get your pay cut down..." _Hotch said over the phone.

"No, no, I'm fine," she said hastily.

"_Thought so."_ Several laughs in the background suggested that Prentiss, Morgan, and Rossi were there with him.

"So, to what do I owe this special phone call? Or lack thereof?" She asked, just as Kevin stood up and walked out of the room quietly.

"_...what?"_

"This is the first time you called in....well, you have Reid; make him do the math."

"_Well, actually, that's what we're calling you about. We need to talk to you about something important."_

"Yeah, usually these serial killer cases are important."

"_It's a little different this time."_

"Different? Different how?" Garcia asked.

"_It's...personal._"

"For who?"

"_JJ."_

"How so?" Garcia asked, worried. Her poor JJ was having such a horrible time! First being sick on the plane, then being attacked by the unsub, now this.

JJ spoke this time. _"Our unsub is Walter Blaine."_

"And that's a problem because...?"

"_Because he's my step-father."_

Garcia gasped. "So your step father tracked you down then attacked you on the streets?"

"_Yeah, but there's more. He...um, he isn't Jennifer Jareau's step father. He is Jess and Shelby Merrick's."_

"Okay, I don't understand."

"_I'm Shelby Merrick._" She said quickly. Having already explained this made it easier for her to do again, but it was still difficult, so she rushed. _"He molested me and my sister for years when we were kids. I ran away, he blamed me for everything, and now he's trying to kill me. Well, people like me."_

Garcia connected the dots a lot faster than the rest of the team. "He's after blonde, blue-eyed prostitutes. Does that mean...?"

"_Uh, yeah. I ran away a lot, for obvious reasons. But I always had to come back. Until one time when I was fifteen, I ran away and met a girl named Patty. She became my best friend. She taught me how to survive. She taught me...well, I started turning tricks. It was easy money when I needed it. But one day, Patty OD'd right in front of me. I realized that could have easily been me (I was hooked on a ton of stuff back then) so I located my biological father. He sent me here, to Horizon." _Her voice got quieter as she turned away from the phone, presumably to the team. _"That's how I know everyone. They were all in my group—the Cliffhangers._

"_Promise me you won't judge me. Promise me I'll always be JJ to you guys. Please."_

Everyone promised. Well, almost everyone. Garcia asked why she changed her name, and why she had to continue being JJ even if Walter was caught.

"_Because,"_ she answered, _"Shelby is, and always will be, a victim. I can't be that anymore. Plus, nobody would hire Shelby—a hooker, an addict, a runaway. A victim. And because of what happened to me...well, I had to become an agent to catch guys like him. I had to. I can't be Shelby anymore because she disgusts everyone, even me. And because JJ is just a better person."_

"Jayje, listen to me--"

"_No, you listen."_ She took a deep breath before continuing, "_One day, I was talking to my new best friend here at Horizon, Daisy. I explained to her why I couldn't have Scott—because he would never understand. She told me 'then he's not the one'. But the truth is, I couldn't understand, so how could I expect him to? I told her...I explained to her that I can't even touch my own skin because of what I did. But she helped me through everything. Instead of being disgusted with me for being a hooker like everyone else was, she told me that I wasn't a prostitute, I was a survivor. She was so much like Patty..."_

"Aww, Kitten, I'm so--"

"_Don't call me that!"_ JJ snapped, then gasped. _"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. It just came out! I—ugh, what's wrong with me?_" When Garcia stayed quiet, JJ explained: _"That was his pet name for me. Every night when he would come into my room, he would call me Kitten. He called my sister that, too. And I just...I just can't hear that name. Please don't."_

"Of course not." Garcia promised hastily. "I'm so sorry, Jayje. If I had known--"

"_Don't do that to yourself. I went through so much trouble to make sure you didn't know. I never wanted anyone to know, and that's how it was for ten years. Thank you for that._"

"Anytime, Sweetie. Anytime." Wanting to change the subject for JJ, she went back to the case. "So, uh, how are we planning on catching Walter?"

"_Well, we hadn't really thought about that yet. We've been a little distracted."_

"One second, let me work my magic," Garcia said, typing in Walter's name in to her computer. Just a few seconds later, she found a cell number. "He has his cell off, but I'll make sure I know when it comes on. Until then, surveillance is definitely out of the question for JJ, but what about the rest of you?"

"_Good idea, Penelope."_ Hotch said. _"Tonight, all of us except JJ will go on surveillance. Garcia, I want you to come up here ASAP."_

"Yes, my captain."

Although she didn't know why, the team laughed.

**I'm getting less and less confident about this. I kind of feel like the story is all over the place. I'm going to try to pull it together, though. What do you think?**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm not a fan of that last chapter, but that's okay. Hopefully this one will be better.**

Jennifer Jareau POV

"_I'm coming up._"

"Well, um, I'm going to go see if any of my 'friends' will talk to me," JJ said after Garcia hung up.

"Okay. Do you want us to come?" Hotch asked.

"No, it's better if I do this by myself. You guys get ready for surveillance. I want to catch this bastard for good."

Hotch nodded as JJ exited, worried about what she was going to say.

Peter, Sophie, and all the Cliffhangers (including Jules, Auggie, and Kat, who all just arrived) were sitting in the lounge area, talking in hushed tones.

"Well, if it isn't the ice queen herself," Daisy said, getting up to leave.

"Just hear me out," JJ begged. "Please, just listen to my side of the story."

"Well, only after you hear ours," Daisy compromised. "You ran away from home, and left Jess all alone to deal with your abusive step-father. You graduated from here and ran away again, leaving Jess and the rest of us all alone. Your mother almost died because of you, and so did the rest of us. You changed your name so that we couldn't find you, and you didn't even call us. Scott has texted you every day, but you don't bother to respond, even when he told you that Walt was free. You don't care about anyone but yourself, and changing your name isn't going to change that. You left us, Shelby, and there's no coming back now. Not after ten years of nothing."

"My turn now," JJ said angrily. "I ran away because I trusted him. I didn't tell any of you my secret because if I couldn't trust him, how could I know who to trust? Plus, I knew what you all would think of me if I told you how I lived out on the streets. Guess what? I was right. I didn't leave you—you left me."

"Really? Who ran away?" Scott asked.

"I did, but that's not what I mean! You begged me to tell you, and when I finally did, you couldn't stand to be around me. I gave you what you wanted, but you couldn't handle it. You left me. So when I saw the opportunity to start over...well, how can I pass that up? You tell me, who would you rather be: an abused runaway druggie, or a successful FBI agent? Who?"

There was no response.

"Listen," she pleaded, "I know it's asking for a lot, but it would mean the world to me if you could forgive me. Please. I ran away for your own good; I didn't want to hurt you any more.

Sophie was the first to speak. "Of course we forgive you, Shelby."

Peter, Kat, Ezra, Auggie, and Juliette agreed. Scott, Jess, and Daisy, on the other hand, were more reluctant. "Give me one good reason," Jess challenged. "Give me one reason why I should forgive you."

"Because I tried."

"Tried what? Tried leaving? That's hardly a reason, Shell."

"I know, but...look, when you ran away to Horizon, you were escaping him. I did the same thing—you just don't see it that way. We both ran away to escape him; the difference was, I was trying to leave him, and you only were leaving the memories. On the way up, you had a sign and you jumped out of the car. I didn't have that sign. I didn't."

Jess just shook her head, not saying anything.

"What about us, huh?" Scott asked.

"Yes, Scott, what about you?" JJ sighed. "Because the way I remember it, you left me. You begged me to tell you everything, so I did, and you left."

"I came back! I could have left this hellhole forever ago, but I came back because I love you."

"What?" JJ whispered.

"What do you mean, 'what'? I told you that's why I came back. What the hell are you talking about?"

"You said...you said you love me."

"Yeah, I don't see the problem here."

"You said you love me. Not you _loved_ me, but you _love_ me. Present tense."

Scott stared in shock. "Yeah, well, I meant loved."

JJ shook her head. "So not working, Scott. I work with a bunch of profilers, remember? I've picked up a few things. You, Scott Barringer, are still in love with me."

"See, that's where you're wrong. I'm still in love with Shelby, not this _Jennifer_ bitch. Get it straight."

"Scott--" Peter warned.

"No, Peter! This isn't group—we're adults now. We can handle this by ourselves. Isn't that right, _Jenny_?"

"No. No, we can't handle this by ourselves! Don't you get it? No matter how old you are, love is something that doesn't change. It stays just as complicated as it was when we went to school here. Nothing changes. So no, we can't do this alone."

"Who ever said alone?" Kat nearly whispered. "I'm always there for you. Whoever you may be, I'm here for you. Shelby, Jennifer, whatever. I understand that you had to do this, and I want to help."

"Speak for yourself," Daisy scoffed.

"I just did."

"Yeah, well, I'm here for you too," Sophie offered.

"Yeah, same here," Auggie said, followed by Juliette and Peter and, finally Ezra.

JJ's eyes stung with tears. All of the strongest emotions were there—the hatred and the loathing, balanced with the friendship and love felt at that very moment. "Thank you, all of you. Please, Jess and Daisy, try to understand. Please. Just think about what I said. I'm begging you, I need this from you. I know it's a lot to ask and I probably don't deserve it, but please forgive me. Or, forgive Shelby. Forget JJ, just remember Shelby."

"I can't do that," Jess admitted. "I want to, but I can't. I know why you ran away, and I know that you had to, but you didn't have to run from us. You didn't have to change your name! And even if you did, you could have at least told us. I know you thought it would help you forget, but everything reminds you of him. Everything. When you realized this, you could have come back. You nearly killed us all, Shell, and you didn't do anything to stop it. You didn't care."

"I did care! I do care. I really do, I promise."

"Well you're doing a lousy job showing it."

"I can't believe you would say that," Daisy spat. "You want to forgive her? After everything she did to you, did to _us, _you still want to forgive her?"

"She's my sister," Jess said quietly. "I know what she was thinking when she ran."

"What about me?" Scott asked. "You don't want my forgiveness?"

"I do, I want all of your forgiveness. It's just...it's just harder for you, Scott. You never understood. You've tried for years and years, and you never did. I know it's going to take a miracle for you to forgive me."

"Yeah, well maybe you should be asking for a miracle instead of just dismissing me like that!"

"Scott, I work for the FBI. I've seen the worst of humanity. I know that forgiveness is one of the hardest things in the world and if, years later, you still don't forgive me, you never will."

"When did this happen to you?" Scott screamed. "You're not acting like Shelby at all! You're just going to let him win like this?"

That did it for JJ—the tears started falling. She wiped them away quickly and stood up. "Well, this is obviously getting us nowhere. Thanks, really. Thank you for listening."

"Shelby, wait--" Jules said, standing up.

But JJ ignored her and went back to the cabin. The team was sitting on their beds, talking about the case. And about their friend.

"Hey, you okay?" Emily asked, seeing her friend's bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah, fine. So what's happening tonight?"

"Surveillance is starting in two hours. You sure you're okay?" Hotch said.

"Fine. I'm going to go take a shower now," JJ decided, desperate to escape the questions from her teammates.

"Okay. We'll be right here," Emily responded.

"Yeah," JJ muttered so that nobody could hear her. "I've been getting a lot of that today."

JJ walked up to the claustrophobic shower area she had tried so hard to forget about and began to undress. She wasn't even aware of what she was doing as she turned the water on the hottest it would go. She didn't notice the heat of the water as it scalded her skin. Then, a familiar thought hit her.

_What a waste._

She gasped out loud. What a waste of water, for she would never be clean. "No," she said out loud, defiantly. She grabbed a bar of soap and began scrubbing ferociously. "No, I will get clean this time. I can do it! No, no, no!" The tears began to fall again, but she didn't feel them past the intense heat of the shower, which she was also oblivious to. "No! I will get clean, I will get clean." She let out something between a scream and a groan when, after half the bar of soap was gone, she was just as dirty as before. She let herself slide to the floor and began sobbing. She didn't hear the knock on the door, and she didn't hear Prentiss asking if she was okay, so she was startled when the door opened.

"JJ," Emily gasped, running over to her friend, who was leaning against the wall, crying. She turned off the water, which was turning JJ's skin a bright red. She put a hand on JJ's shoulder. "Sweetie, what's wrong? Talk to me, please."

"I can't—I can't—" JJ panted, unable to finish.

"Shh, shh, it's okay."

JJ shook her head frantically. "I can't—I--" she repeated, but again couldn't continue. She put a hand to her chest, still gasping.

"Oh my gosh," Emily muttered. "Jayje, you're having a panic attack. I need you to calm down."

But she couldn't calm down. She couldn't stop crying, no matter how hard she tried. The tears, the gasping—they wouldn't stop. Her stomach was churning, and she was feeling queasy. But the worst was the _breathing_. Her lungs were shrinking inside her chest, making it impossible to take a deep breath. Or any breath at all, for that matter. They felt almost nonexistent, like they were closing in on her. It reminded her of a cave collapsing. There was a dull yet strong ache in her chest, right where her lungs should be. The space in her chest was closing, getting smaller and smaller, and would keep shrinking until there was none. JJ couldn't imagine an end to this hopelessness, this panic, this stress. It seemed as if it would go on forever.

"Deep breaths," Emily instructed. "Breathe slowly. Deep, slow breaths."

More easily said than done. JJ looked at Emily, terror evident in her eyes. She tried to mimic Emily's own breathing, who was doing just as she was telling JJ to do. After a few minutes, her breathing was almost back to normal, only the occasional gasp. "I'm sorry," she said once she found her voice. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Emily said. "You have nothing to be sorry for." JJ nodded, looking up at Emily again. At first, there was a gratitude, but it quickly turned to horror. Turning around to see the source of her fear, she saw the team all peering around the door into the bathroom.

They had an audience.

Emily got up to close the door, but JJ was already humiliated. Her whole team, everyone she worked with and was friends with, had just seen her completely break down and panic. They had watched as her episode came and passed. They had seen her at her weakest, most vulnerable point.

And she was devastated.

On her way back, Emily grabbed a towel, which she handed to JJ. JJ took it gratefully and wrapped it around her body, but still made no move to get up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

JJ sighed. Even though it was a question, she knew she had no choice. "When I went to school here, I could take the fastest showers. Everybody would always ask how I do it, because I could get in and out in less than ten minutes and still look decent. But the truth is, I couldn't take long showers. I couldn't because I felt like it was a waste of water, seeing as I would never be clean again. They would always be on me—Walt, and all those other men. They would always be on me, and showering...it was wasteful. When I became JJ, I no longer felt it was a waste because JJ had never done anything to make her dirty. But now I...I feel dirty again. I'm dirty, Em, and always will be. I will never be clean. I let him win." JJ was crying again by the end, but only slightly.

"Oh, Jayje. You did _not_ let him win." Emily said sympathetically yet sternly, pulling her into a hug.

"Oh gosh, I'm gonna--" JJ exclaimed, pressing a hand to her mouth and escaping Emily's grasp. She ran to the toilet just in time to vomit.

She flushed the toilet and closed her eyes, kneeling. She felt a hand run threw her hair and heard whispered words of comfort. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay, Jayje. You're fine. You will be okay. Nothing's wrong."

And, for the first she could remember, she believed it.


	15. Chapter 15

Morgan POV

"Everything okay in there?" Morgan asked as Prentiss walked out of the bathroom, alone.

"Yeah, everything's fine," she answered absently.

"Emily, please. You're not that hard to read."

"Don't we have a rule against inter-team profiling?"

"Yeah, well it doesn't take affect when one of our teammates is having a panic attack on the bathroom floor."

Emily flinched. "She just flashed back to her teen years. It was tough, you know, and I guess she just freaked or something. She's fine now."

"Then why is she still in there?" Rossi asked.

"She wanted some time alone, to think. I told her if she's not out in fifteen, I am having Morgan break down the door to go get her. I think that scared her, because she agreed on fifteen minutes." Emily grinned.

"Well," Hotch interceded, "we are leaving in twenty for surveillance. She better hurry."

* * *

"You sure you're going to be okay?" Hotch asked JJ for the umpteenth time. The rest of the team was almost as annoyed as her. Almost.

"Yes, Hotch, I'm_ fine. _I don't know if you remember this, but I've been through much worse."

"I could stay, if you want..."

"No. I need to stay here and work things out with my friends and my sister. It will be easier by myself, anyways. Thanks for the offer, though." The sweetness of her words contrasted with the bitterness and sarcasm in her voice.

"Okay, well if your sure, then you know how to reach us."

"Yep. Bye!" She waved as the team left.

"Okay," Hotch said as they approached the vans. "Morgan with Prentiss, Rossi and Reid with--"

"Hey!" Hotch was interrupted. Morgan turned around to see Garcia running towards them, dragging a bedazzled purple suitcase behind her.

"Hey! I'm here!" She yelled.

"Yeah, baby-girl, we see that," Morgan laughed.

"Where's my Jayje? Where is she?"

"She's in the lodge, but she wants to be alone now."

"Why?" Garcia asked. Her face fell with disappointment and worry.

"She wants to talk with her...friends," Morgan hesitated. He wasn't sure if these people could be considered "friends" by the way they treat her, but JJ seemed extremely close with them so he kept an open mind.

"Oh. Okay. So what's up, Buttercup?" She asked, trying to keep the mood light.

"We are going on surveillance," Rossi informed. "We have a pretty good idea of where Walter will strike next, so we are going to try and catch him before he can take any more innocent lives."

"Hmm. Lovely. I guess that's an invitation?"

"It can be if you want," Hotch said.

"Yeah, well there's nowhere else for me to go, so I'll come. Who am I stuck with for the next few hours?"

"Morgan. So Prentiss, you're with me," Hotch said.

"Ew," Garcia joked.

Morgan laughed. "Just get in the car so we don't miss him again."

"Fine, Mr. Bossy," Garcia said as she dropped her bags by the door and hopped into the passenger seat. Morgan got behind the wheel and started driving.

"So what exactly did I miss?"

"Exactly? Well, JJ got attacked by her abusive step-father, and that pretty much sums it up. I'm assuming you know about her past."

"Yeah. So is JJ the reason that Walter Blaine is murdering all these women?"

Morgan glared at her for a moment. "Not JJ. Shelby."

"But they're the same person I thought?"

"Yes and no. Shelby became JJ, but they are definitely _not_ the same person."

"Sorry smarty-pants, you lost me."

Morgan sighed. "I know better than anyone what JJ is going through," he began slowly. "But I still don't even know. What happened to her...well, it's worse than even I can imagine. And she didn't even tell the whole story. But her step-father, he molested and raped her for about ten years. He threatened her sister if she told anyone. Her only choice was to run away; that was literally the only way she could survive. And after that, the only way to make money was to...well, you know. Her life would have been hell to have come down to that. And her mother didn't do anything, so she was left to protect both herself and her sister. That's nothing a teenager should have to do."

"I hear you," Garcia reassured him.

"Plus," he continued, "JJ and Shelby are different. Shelby was a hated, rude bitch, but that mask was only created to hide her feelings, and to hide her secret. She couldn't tell anyone or else her sister was in trouble, and she couldn't love because she had tried that before and it turned out like hell. Which sucks, because the fact that she loved her sister so much that she risked her life for her had to be hidden behind this constant sarcasm. She couldn't show her real self; she physically couldn't.

"But JJ is different. JJ is Shelby's alter-ego; JJ is the person Shelby always wanted to be. JJ is innocent and good. JJ is who we know. So it is Shelby that Walter is trying to kill, because he doesn't know JJ."

"I understand," Garcia whispered as Morgan pulled to a stop at the corner. "So what do we do now?"

"We wait."

"Wait?"

"We wait for a tall, middle-aged man to try to kill a blonde prostitute."

"Hmm. Lovely."

Morgan snickered. "Yeah."

"...uh, Morgan? He is fairly tall, definitely middle-aged, and I'm pretty certain the blonde one would classify as a prostitute."

After a moment of checking out the potential victim, Morgan said, "Nice catch, sweet cheeks." He turned around abruptly, startling Garcia. He pulled out a gun from a compartment between the seats.

"Whoa, what else do you keep in there?"

"No time for jokes, Garcia. I need you to hold this. Keep your finger on the trigger. If that man--" he pointed at Walter--"gets anywhere _near_ the van, shoot him. You hear me?"

"Uh...I--"

"Garcia!"

"Yes, yes I hear!" she screamed, overwhelmed. Guns were so _not _her thing.

"Good." He said, leaping out of the car.

"Federal agent! FBI!" Morgan yelled, whipping out his badge. An alarming number of prostitutes fled the area.

But the blonde lady and the tall man stayed put. "Walter Blaine, put your hands where I can see them!" he ordered. Walter looked around frantically. "Hands up, now!"

When Morgan approached with the gun, the blonde woman whimpered. He saw Walter's hand behind her back, presumably holding a weapon of some sort.

Most likely a knife.

Her eyes widened in fear. "Hands up, now!" He yelled again.

Her mouth formed the words, "Help me". He continued shouting, stepping closer to the target.

She let out a bloodcurdling scream when Morgan fired. He wouldn't budge, he refused to move, he had to shoot. Not at them, but right behind them to startle him.

It worked.

Both the unsub and the victim dropped to the ground. Morgan ran over quickly, holding his gun at Walter. He pulled him up harshly and threw him into the wall, just next to where the bullet had hit. Morgan grabbed the knife out of his hand and threw it at the ground. He then whipped out his handcuffs and slapped them on Walt much more violently then necessary. Because he had tortured his coworker, his _friend, _in the worst way possible for nearly a decade. Because he got away with it. Because he was more than just an unsub, he was JJ's monster.

And monsters were way worse than unsubs.

Just then, two police cars pulled up at the sound of the gunshot. "Everything okay?" one of them asked.

"Yeah, take this man down to the station. I'm with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit; my team can meet you there in a few hours."

The police officer nodded and walked away with Walt.

"Oh, wait!" Morgan called after. "Call an ambulance for her!" He nodded as he pulled out his cell phone. Morgan dropped to the ground next to the shaking woman.

"Miss, can you hear me? Can you move?"

She continued shaking, unable to answer. Morgan stood up and waved Garcia over. She exited the van and dashed over to him.

"Call the others, tell them to meet us back at Horizon. The officer is already calling an ambulance," He said, nodding towards the already departing police officers. Garcia nodded and obeyed.

"It's okay, it's okay," Morgan said, helping up the poor lady. "He's gone; it's fine. Can you tell me your name?"

"M-Margaret," she stuttered.

"Hello, Margaret. I'm Derek Morgan with the FBI."

"Wh-who the hell was that? Was that th-the man who murdered all those w-women?" She asked, her wide eyes searching Derek for any response.

"Yes," he answered quietly. "Yes, but you're okay now. You're safe."

She nodded as the paramedics took her away.

CMCMCMCMCM

Morgan and Garcia were the last to arrive back at Horizon. "I'm going to go talk to JJ. You can go back with the team," Morgan said to Garcia, who nodded and walked away.

He opened the door. JJ was sitting on the floor, laughing quietly with her old friends. He realized proudly that she made up with them. "JJ, we need to talk," he muttered.

She stood up and walked over slowly. "What is it?"

"We found him." JJ drew in a breath. "We found him trying to kill another. I..."

"Morgan, what are you saying?"

"I got your step-father. I caught him, it's over. He's going away for good." Her eyes filled with tears. He was taken aback—he had expected her to be overjoyed.

But then he noticed the relief in her eyes, hidden behind the tears. She pulled him into a tight hug and whispered in his ear, "Thank you. Thank you, Derek Morgan. You just made JJ's life worth living. Thank you."

"Everything okay?" Jess asked from behind them. JJ pulled away and smiled widely.

"He's gone. It's all over—Walt was caught."

"Walt was caught?" Jess repeated. Morgan nodded. "You...you caught him?" Morgan nodded again. "You..."

"Jess," JJ interrupted. "Jess, Walt is gone. Forever."

Tears streamed down her face. "He's gone. You son of a bitch! After years and years and _years_ of torture and damage, after a lifetime of never-ending suffering and pain, you just put a pair of handcuffs on him and turn him away? How could you? How dare you?"

"Jess..."

"NO, Shelb! No! He doesn't understand, he never will, he doesn't know what he did to us..."

"I understand more than you think," Morgan said quietly.

"...what?"

"His name was Carl. Carl Buford. I was fifteen. It didn't last as long as you, it wasn't as horrible as what happened to you, but I can relate. I know how you feel. I know what it's like to wait and pray for decades only to have him go to prison. I know it feels like a letdown, but let me tell you that it is better than nothing. Let me tell you that he will never be able to live a full, good life. He will never, ever be happy again. Jess, I know right now that you want him to die, but going to prison is...well, it's like payback. Because if I had shot him right there on the spot, he would have died—no pain, no nothing. But he is going to jail; he is getting his own form of torture."

Jess nodded repeatedly. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell, it's just...I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

JJ ran up to her sister and pulled her into a tight hug. "Shh, shh," she whispered as Jess cried on her shoulder. "Shh, everything will be okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing."

JJ turned back to Morgan as Jess's sobs subsided. "He will have to be interviewed, right?"

Morgan nodded.

JJ looked at Jess, then back up at Morgan. "Can we come?"

**Review, review, review! I'm planning on only writing one more chapter, but depending on how things play out, it may turn into two or even three. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter :)**


	16. Chapter 16

JJ POV

"_Can we come?"_

"Uh...I mean, I guess, if you...are you sure you want to?" Morgan stuttered, confused.

JJ looked at Jess, who was still in her arms. "Yes, we're sure."

"Um, okay, well we should probably go talk to Hotch."

JJ nodded. "You go, I'll be there in a minute." Morgan nodded and left.

Sophie smiled at the sisters. "Congratulations, girls. I'm so proud of you two. You made it; you won."

JJ gave her a weak smile. "Thanks."

"Are you okay?" Ezra asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little overwhelmed is all." JJ was glad they weren't profilers; they couldn't see through her lie.

"You do want to go, don't you, Jess?"

"Yeah, of course I do!" Jess said.

"Okay, just making sure."

"So, Shelb, we've told you everything," Daisy said. "Can you please tell us about your life as JJ?"

JJ sighed. "Well, after I graduated, you all know that I got a soccer scholarship to University of Pittsburgh," she grinned proudly, "and you all know what happened to my mom. After Walt got arrested, it became too much for me. I was taking a class about criminal justice and we had a unit on the witness protection program and the idea just came to me. As soon as I graduated from Pittsburgh, I changed my name. I became an FBI agent, and well, here I am."

"Jayje! Jess! Come on, we've got to go," Prentiss called from the doorway.

JJ sighed. "Well, that's my cue. Come on, Jess, let's go." JJ and Jess hugged everyone goodbye and promised a visit soon. "I love you guys," JJ said before leaving.

"Okay, girls, you're going to be with Hotch and me." Emily said as they threw their bags in the trunk.

"Awesome," Jess said.

JJ yawned. "As long as I'm not driving, we're good."

Emily laughed. "Come on, we don't want to miss this." Emily jumped in shotgun, next to Hotch. Jess and JJ got in the back.

"How long do you think the ride will take?" Jess asked.

"About two hours," Hotch answered.

"Okay, thanks."

"No problem. Uh, girls in the back, I need you to understand something."

"Yes, Agent Hotchner?"

"Please, just call me Hotch. I need you to understand that what's happening...well, it's not going to be easy."

"Please, this isn't my first party, Hotch," JJ said.

"No, but this is going to be more difficult than usual," Hotch explained. "You know the unsub this time, you know the details of what he did."

"What are you saying, that you usually hold back on me? I've got a strong stomach, you know."

"JJ, this is no time for joking." Hotch said sternly. Jess chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"Uh, nothing, it's just Shelby's never been good under pressure. I guess that's one thing that hasn't changed."

"JJ, Jess, I need you to listen to me." Hotch said, ignoring Jess's comment. "This is serious. Your step-father is being charged with premeditated homicide, _plus_ attempted murder _plus_ attacking and trying to murder a federal agent. All I'm saying is, it could get bad in there, and I need you to be prepared."

JJ looked at Jess before saying, "Hotch, this man molested me and my sister for a decade, not to mention tried to kill both of us. If it doesn't get bad, it's not good enough."

Hotch just shook his head from behind the wheel. "It's not what you think it's going to be. Just ask Morgan—it's not what you think."

"I'd love to, but he's in the other car and cell service is horrible. So, if you don't mind, I haven't slept in days. I'm taking a nap."

JJ closed her eyes. When they thought she was asleep, Jess said, "I'm sorry about that. It's just...this is hard for both of us, and when things get hard, Shelby gets bitchy."

"JJ had the right idea with a nap," Hotch muttered after a moment's hesitation. "Why don't you go to sleep as well?"

Despite her best efforts, JJ nodded off.

"_Come on, Kitten, just one more time."_

"_No, please don't! That's what you said last night! Please, Walt," Shelby begged. She was fourteen._

"_I told you not to call me Walt. It's too formal. Call me Daddy."_

_But Shelby refused to give in._

"_I said," he growled, taking off her pajamas, "Call me Daddy."_

"_No," Shelby whimpered._

"_Do what I say!"_

_But she knew that even if she gave him what he wanted, he would never stop. So she just shook her head, tears streaming down her face as he lay on top of her, naked._

_She closed her eyes as the inevitable happened._

"JJ, wake up," Emily said, turning around in her seat. "We're here."

"Shelb, get up," Jess said as she got out of the car. Emily and Hotch followed suit.

Hotch walked around and opened JJ's door. "JJ, get up. JJ," he shook her slightly. She whimpered slightly and thrashed in her seat. Hotch knelt down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "JJ, wake up," he said forcefully.

JJ's eyes shot open and she lurched forward in her seat, panting. She looked around quickly, eyes resting on Hotch. She screamed.

"Get away!" she shrieked. He sat, shocked at her reaction, unable to move. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" She shook his hand off her shoulder. "Oh my G-d, oh my G-d! Dammit, get away! Get away!" She thrashed around, still buckled in her seat. JJ kicked and slapped at Hotch, pushing him away as tears ran down her cheeks. "Go," she moaned before completely breaking down. Her sobs became loud and persistent, not stopping.

Prentiss ran up to the stunned Hotch, pushing him out of the way so hard that he bumped into Jess. She knelt down to JJ, putting her hand in hers. "JJ, it's me. Calm down. Look at me," she demanded. JJ obeyed. At first, Emily was shocked by the intense fear in her eyes. "It's just Emily, JJ. It's just me and Hotch."

"Go away," she ordered hoarsely.

Although she was reluctant, Emily noticed the recognition in JJ's eyes. She knew that JJ knew who she was, the nightmare was over. She nodded and backed away slowly, not taking her eyes off of her hurt teammate. However, seeing JJ in that much pain and suffering—well, she couldn't take it. Her eyes shined with unshed tears.

She turned around, nearly running into Hotch. She was surprised to see him almost crying as well.

JJ was hurt.

Jess approached both of them as JJ monitored her breathing, trying to calm down. She heard Jess talking to her friends.

"It's not your fault, you know," she murmured reassuringly. "It's her scar tissue. This could have happened—no, would have happened to anyone. You just happened to be there. It's not your fault."

JJ took one last, deep breath before getting out of the car. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Hotch said sternly. "Absolutely nothing. Do you hear me?"

"Yeah, Hotch, I hear you. It's just...I'm so sorry for acting like that. I just had a nightmare, I should be able to deal with dreams by now..."

"JJ, what happened to you was horrible. There is no getting over that 100 percent. We accept you for who you are, no matter how many bad dreams you have. You are amazing, Jayje, and we love you no matter what."

"Thank you," JJ whispered. "Thank you for everything."

Hotch nodded. "Let's just go inside, okay?"

CMHGCMHGCMHG

"Did the police officer read you your rights?" Morgan said from inside the interrogation room. At first, the team was reluctant about letting Morgan question the unsub alone, thinking he may get carried away. After all, it was extremely personal for all of them. But he had convinced them that it was okay.

"Answer me," Morgan roared, slamming his fist down on the table, making Walt flinch. He nearly laughed at the fact that he was such a monster to so many people, but jumped at a loud noise. "Did he or did he not read you your rights?"

"He did," Walt answered. He sat up straight like he wanted to feel in charge.

And right then, Morgan decided that it would never happen. He stood tall, lifting his chin ever so slightly.

"So you are aware that you can have a lawyer present?"

"Yes, I am aware, but I've done nothing wrong."

"Nothing?" Morgan snorted. "Do you call this nothing?" he whipped out the pictures of the victims, throats slashed and dead.

"I did nothing wrong."

"Are you saying that you did not murder these women?"

"No, I'm just saying that I did nothing wrong."

"Are you saying that you did not molest your step-daughters?"

Walt hesitated. "I didn't do anything wrong; I just loved them."

Morgan laughed dryly. "What you did wasn't love, it was torture. You call that nothing wrong?"

"I call that unrelated."

"I know you murdered these women." Morgan said, pointing at the photographs.

"Good for you."

"Are you admitting to murder?" Morgan asked, confused.

"I'm admitting to giving them justice."

"Okay, I'm tired of playing games--"

"As am I, Agent Morgan."

"Were you present when these women died?"

"I was."

"Did you kill them?"

"I--"

"It's just a yes or no question, sir. Not too hard."

"I'm taking the first."

"Excuse me?"

"I have the right to remain silent. Do I have the wrong amendment?"

Morgan groaned. "Either get a lawyer or answer the damn question."

JJ sighed. "Okay, that's it." She pushed herself up and made her way to the door.

"JJ, where are you going?" Hotch asked, blocking the doorway.

"I'm going to go help out Morgan."

"I wouldn't do that."

"Yeah, Hotch? Why not?"

"Because...because it's hard. Because it's going to be difficult, and--"

"She's strong," Jess whispered. "Shelby's strong, she can handle it. I don't know this JJ very well, but as long as it's Shelby going in there, she'll be fine. Let her go."

After a few seconds, Hotch stepped out of the way. But before JJ could get by, he put his hand out and looked at Jess. "JJ is strong too." He moved his hand out of the way.

JJ smiled at him sincerely and left the room. She turned right into the interrogation room, ignoring the curious gazes from her teammates.

"Jayje, what are you doing here?" Morgan asked, baffled.

"Walt, do you remember me?" JJ asked, ignoring Morgan's question.

"Shelby." Walt smiled, a sight that made Morgan want to vomit. But then his expression turned to anger. "It's your fault. It's your fault I had no life."

JJ ignored this comment. "Do you remember hurting me again? Do you remember trying to kill me? Do you remember giving me this?" She asked, pulling up her pant leg to reveal a nasty scar.

"Yes. I was so close, but then your girlfriend came and saved you."

"My _coworker,_" JJ stressed, "saved my life. Unfortunately, she couldn't do the same for the others you killed."

"They deserved it."

"Deserved what?"

"They deserved to die!" He yelled. "They deserved to be tortured and murdered!"

"Why? Because I ruined your life?"

"Yes, because they were no better than you."

JJ looked at Morgan in a _there you have it_ kind of way.

"Sir, you're going to have to come with me." Morgan's pulled Walt up violently and dragged him out the door.

"I'm sorry, Kitten!" Walt screamed at JJ. "I hope we can still be together! You were always so good to me, don't make it end!"

"Come here," Morgan snarled, jerking him out of the room.

JJ, meanwhile, was terrified. She fell into the chair, her breathing fast and uneven.

Hotch came into the room and knelt in front of her. "JJ, it's okay. He's gone; you're fine now. It's over."

JJ shook her head. "No I'm not. What he did, Hotch—it can't be undone. I'm not okay, I'm not fine, and it's definitely not over. It will never be."

Jess sprinted into the room as well. "Shelby, come here right now." She demanded.

Hotch turned around, shocked. "Jess," he whispered harshly, "don't speak to her like that. She's obviously panicked--"

"Don't tell me what to do," Jess spat. Then she turned to Shelby, "Look at him, Shelb. Look at him!"

JJ remembered what Shelby had told Jess so long ago. She dashed out into the hallway right behind Jess just in time to see Morgan turning the corner, Walt in handcuffs. She remembered the first time he got arrested, and she made a promise to herself. A promise that she would keep for several reasons.

Because this promise was impossible to break.

Because she had seen the affect of a broken promise, and it resulted in another life ruined.

But mostly because Jess had made this promise to her so many years ago.

So JJ promised to herself that she would remember this.

She would remember everything.

**The end! Hope you all liked it, and I hope it lived up to your expectations. This was actually my first completed fanfiction, so please review! What did you think? Comments, questions, concerns? (I don't know what you would be concerned about—it's just a story. maybe my over-active imagination? Because I promise, it's nothing to worry about lol). **

**By the way, yes I did intentionally put Higher Ground moments in with all the characters throughout the story.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


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